Zencho

For a while there I lost myself, feeling unusually weird. Lack of sleep? Maybe. I sat down this morning, blood rushed to my head & I started to feel giddy. I lost interest in everything for the rest of the day, from breakfast to lunch to dinner. Took a nap in the afternoon, thought it'll help at least a little. Well... Yeah, a little. Woke up at around 7 P.M., showered & had dinner. Flipped open my Biology notes, I stared at the pages but nothing registered into my brain. It's like reading a book written in an alien language. What the hell is wrong with me?

Then I thought I might just settle down, set everything else aside & start writing a poem. A poem about someone, a best kept secret that only one other person in this world know about. I can't decide whether or not I should tell her how I feel. I know you've probably heard me falling in love a gazillion times, but this time it's somewhat different. The exotic, rich feeling pinning me down, disabling me from deciding what's right & what's not whenever I looked into her eyes.. She's a pure treasure, but chances are that she just doesn't know how much she meant to me. Love can never be forced, which is quite true & I've been through it before for a few times. Things will never work if a pair does not have the same feelings towards each other. I think some of you understand what it's like to love someone that doesn't love you. What's that word again? Unrequited? Yeah..

Unrequited

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You're made known to me, somehow,
Friends we'd be, venturing the ups & downs of life,
As each day measures, as we grew closer,
I realized.
There's more than meets the eyes,
Subdued, locked by the law of attraction,
In love I am, greatly.

Watching you, falling into the arms of another,
Tears broke out deep in me.
Silent weeps, wet cheeks.
Never did I failed to help,
Whenever you needed help.
The agonizing pain of a friend's love,
Will never be understood by the likes of you.

I was terrorized,
By the fear of risk,
By the risk of losing,
By the losing of a friend.
Maybe,
Just maybe,
I amn't that special afterall...

I dread to be with you,
Feeling the same, are not you.
As I strive through every dawn and dusk,
You, are always on my mind.

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I questioned my own ability to think rationally when I was writing this; yes, I was 101% insane & out of my mind. I was afraid that if I voice out, things will all come down. For me or for her, none will be good. I do not wish to know how she feels, because I know it'll definitely let me down. However, if you know who you are & what I'm talking about, & if you think that this is a chance that we should not waste, then please tell me.. I'll be waiting, hopefully..

Zencho - Malice Mizer.

-MXV-