Disappointment

Weird title, huh?

For the past 3 years or so, most, if not all of my posts were titled according to the songs in my playlist above. But nah, not this time..

Now, yes.. Disappointment. The word pretty much spoke for itself, no?

1. Came back from Russia, unexpected reasons. Don't ask what, don't ask why. Continuing my studies here, but switched course altogether from Medical Degree to Bachelor in Psychology.

2. Got a part-time job at Kumon as a tutor. It never occurred to me that this very day will ever come where I'll end up teaching Mathematics to secondary school students.

3. A new friend that I made at my new university apparently blocked & deleted me from Facebook, also stopped talking to me. Oh how nice, how hurtful that could be. What have I done, man?

4. A new car, Proton Persona Elegance. (Not sure for how long I'd be owning this car this time.)

5. Bunch of bullshits that happened over the course of 8 months since I'm back till now. (Yes, I've been in Malaysia for almost a year, just don't ask why I never took my time to update this blog.)

6. Moved houses 3 times since I came back till now.

7. Series of bad luck hitting me for the past 2 months, maybe earlier than that. I don't remember, I'm just feeling too miserable to remember when it all started.

More to list, but just can't do it right now. Gotta sleep. Working at 9 AM tomorrow. My next post? Probably after my exams (16th of July) or after my birthday. Things are still gonna be this miserable, I promise.

Don't Stop The Party - Black Eyed Peas.

-MX-

Like A G6

Well.. I don't actually know what to post here anymore.. Updates on my life? Very, very stressed out recently due to some life-changing decisions that I have to make.. Not sure which path should I take.. Anyway.. For those who are still following my blog loyally, I thank you.. Thanks to all, for your concern.. I'm fine, & blog will be updated pretty soon again.. Chill, enjoy the music..

Like A G6 - Far East Movement feat. The Cataracs & Dev.

-MX-

Big Sky

It feels like I'm wasting my life away... Slowly.. Very slowly..

I can't get all the motivation I need to start studying...

John O'Callaghan feat Audrey Gallagher - Big Sky (Acoustic Mix).

-MX-

Always

Currently trying to save as much as I can, & to be honest I've not been withdrawing any cash for a month plus or so. Why? Simple. To save for a cheapo 2nd hand car when I'm back in Malaysia for holidays.

I can't remember the last time I brought a bottle of water to class from home. I don't even do that in secondary school. Well, maybe I did... In Secondary 1 or 2? Saving & squeezing every single last рубль that I can find in my wallet & my room to last me till the end of next month. It's hard, I know, but I have to suffer. So.. Yeah. A hard practice for a shopaholic like me. Bought a 500 руб shirt from Zara 3 weeks ago, regretted it ever since. Why? I love that shirt very much, but if I were to save that 500 руб I could've used it to pay for 1 week worth of groceries.

Hang on in there, MX... Just a month plus more..

Bon Jovi - Always.

-MX-

Maestro

I've never once failed tearing whenever I watch Ip Man. Call me a strong Chinese, but the storyline really managed to touch my heart deep down under, a place where no other movies or stories could possibly reach. It must have been the umpteenth time that I watched the first Ip Man, but it never fails to amuse me & give me the same sense of pride, amour-propre. The dignity, the gratification of being a Chinese.

Looking forward to watch Ip Man 2, most probably when I return to Malaysia for summer holidays. I hope it packs the same kind of punch & awe as it's prequel. Definitely a movie that should not be missed by my fellow Chinese friends.

Kenji Kawai - Maestro.

-MX-

一路向北

Here's the video.. A promise that I made to myself & my car.. It's not that well made, but still..

If you think you'll be wasting 12 minutes 33 seconds of your life watching this, then don't watch it..

But if you feel my pain & share my sadness, then go on.. I promise it will not be disappointing..



Happy Birthday..

All that's left of you.. Memories..

Yeah, I know.. I've featured this song over & over again on my blog.. But it just can't seem to die off.. 2669's signature song, I guess..

Jay Chou - 一路向北 ( Yi Lu Xiang Bei ).

-MX-

P.S.- Correction to Kelvin Chan's number plate, WKF 5017. Sorry for the mistake, took me 5 hours to make this video & I was sleepy at the end of it. Peace.

Ride

Alrite, some real-time updates from me. Some very very sad stories, real de-motivators.

But one of the biggest factor of my emo-ness, sadness & disappointment & the only one I wanna emphasize on right now (unfortunately), is... Well..

Whatever that's left of WRG 2669 remains history & memories. Yes, thats right. I've lost my beloved Myvi. No, it didn't end up in an accident. It's just...sold. My parents sold it. I'm utterly devastated by the news delivered by my mom, and I still am. Memories remains memories, that car have strived on with me through much joy & pain, happiness & sadness, saved my life not once, not twice, but many many times. The near-death experience at Karak highway. The accident at Pekeliling. Another accident I've escaped, together with my car, unharmed & unscratched on MRR2. The escape from being robbed by Mat Rempits.

All the emo moments spent with my car.. Hmm.

This post is dedicated to my beloved WRG 2669. All that I can save from my car is a Rockford Fosgate woofer & an Adam's amplifier, and they shall remain with me no matter what car I will be driving in the future, as a homage to my first car.


It's been days since I last had a proper meal or sleep. Seriously, it affected me that badly. It's 4 more days to the car's 2nd birthday.. 4 days.. People that were with me throughout the 2 years of me owning the car knows how much I love it.. I've lost an encouraging factor of my life, I've lost my mean of transportation, I've lost the only one that I can depend on when all else fails, when all else disappoints me..
When I'm at the emo-est state, it was the car that accompanied me through the nights of KL roads.. My pride, my soul, my life..

Many of my friends said that I'm too exaggerating at expressing my loss.. I don't blame them, cos they view cars as only a way of getting around.. Heck, many of them don't even maintain their cars themselves.. I've been spending so much time with my car till I've formed an emotional bond with it, till I can feel every pulse of the car's life, forecasting every single problem it had.. Sigh..

...I.. I'm sorry for letting you get through your birthday alone.. Probably with someone else, a new owner perhaps.. I hope that he/she will take good care of you..


In memory of MX's WRG 2669, 29/4/2008 - 22/4/2010.

I'll make a video/photo montage to honour & as a remembrance to my beloved car.. Check back on his birthday, if you guys would..

Cary Brothers - Ride.

-MX-

Let Go

I'm not sure what I'm doing. Sure, we all have our own problems once in a while, & I'm not exempted from this. Yeah, some matters going on. Some.. things.

It actually bothers me so much till I can't actually sit down & start studying for Chemistry. And I wonder why do they introduce Chemistry in M.D.? It doesn't make any sense to me at all.. Well perhaps it does, but I just can't see the point of it.


Alrite, alrite.. Here's a confession. I... I never really liked Chemistry. No. I just can't find my interest in it. Some things happened in the past, & my Chemistry teacher was really harsh with me. So.. Yeah, I don't wanna talk about it.

And all these distractions right now doesn't help in any way to stimulate my already resisting brain into studying Chemistry. The on-going problems that I'm having, my sudden crave for CSI N.Y., & the whole holiday thing.. Can anyone please put me back on track & at least allow me to complete my Chemistry examinations first?

I don't know what to do.. Tried forcing myself to study, but it just wont work.

Frustrated.

Paul Van Dyk feat. Rea Garvey - Let Go.

-MX-

Lullaby

I don't know if the recent Moscow Metro bombing changed the way I think, but...

I miss home. I miss Malaysia. I miss driving around with no particular directions. I miss going to the pasar malam every Thursday at Sri Rampai. Most importantly, I miss the peace & care-free life that I once had. I was able to do anything I like, anytime I want back at home. Hmm...

There is a distinctive smell, Malaysian smell, I presume.. Missed that too. Sigh..

I'm homesick..

One Republic - Lullaby.

-MX-

Get Lifted

7:56 A.M. - Lubyanka Metro station was bombed.

8.37 A.M. - Park Kultury station was bombed.

Both, in a single day. Yes, this morning. I couldn't imagine what would life be like for me. They said that attacks on the minorities & foreigners may start soon.

The Moscow Metro system is undoubtedly the most popular & frequently used form of public transportation in Moscow due to it's accessibility and low cost. The bombings were carried out during rush hour. Both bombs were detonated as the train arrived & the doors were opening.

At least my sense of safety & security did not failed me & proved itself right. I'm not being paranoid, I'm just extra careful. Every single time I board a Metro, I'd take the hassle to walk to the very end to board the last car of the train, for safety reasons. Bombings often happen in the middle or front of the train, but never the back as it would be pointless. True enough, both the bombing incidents today took place in the second cars on both occasion.

Tuesday, 30 March 2010 is declared as the Day of Mourning for the victims of the bombings.

May peace be with those who didn't made it.

Kamui - Get Lifted.

-MX-

Autumn

I've not checked my own blog close to a month, & I was in for a little surprise. 200 thousand views?I'm not sure what made it skyrocket that way.

Having my emo moment right now.

Paul Van Dyk - Autumn (Radio Edit).

-MX-

Tik Tok

Okay, so I have 3 days of holidays (Saturday, Sunday & Monday), with Monday being The International Women's Day. Whatever. I've got exams coming up, with anatomy being the most stressful & depressing.

Parts of skull to read & memorize:

Os frontale
Tuber frontale
Sutura internasalis
Margo orbitalis
Sutura coronalis

Os parietale

Facies orbitalis ossis frontalis
Sutura sphenozygomatica

Sutura frontozygomatica

Facies orbitalis alae major ossis sphenoidalis
Sutura sphenofrontalis
Apertura piriformis

Os zygomaticum

Sutua zygomaticomaxillaris

Concha nasalis inferior

Spina nasalis anterior

Protuberantia mentalis

Sutura intermaxillaris

Lamina perpendicularis ossis ethmoidalis

Vomer

Facies orbitalis maxillae

Fissura orbitalis inferior

Fissura orbitalis superior

Processus zygomaticus ossis frontalis

Palatum osseum

Foramen incisivum

Sutura palatina mediana (Sutura interpalatina)
Processus palatinus

Lamina horizontalis ossis palatini

Lamina medialis processus pterygoidei
Lamina lateralis processus pterygoidei

Fossa infratemporalis

Foramen ovale

Foramen lacerum

Foramen spinosum

Foramen rotundum

Synchrondosis sphenooccipitalis

Tuberculum pharyngeum

Processus mastoideus

Fissura petrooccipitalis

Crista occipitalis externa

Crista occipitalis interna

Linea nuchalis inferior

Linea nuchalis superior

Incisura mastoidea

Processus styloideus

Canalis caroticus

Arcus zygomaticus

Foramen stylomastoideum

I'm not done yet, and the list goes on.. There are probably more than a hundred names that are NOT in the list..

And the clock ticks...

Tik Tok (Instrumental) - Ke$ha.

-MXV-

Heads Will Roll

Kentucky Fried Cheryl.

OK, done.

Now, tell me how stupid is the education system here in Russia, or at least in my university. For those who thought Malaysian education system sucks, think again. This is a real story, real experience by myself.

Went to the dekanat today, or Dean's office, to get permission to sit for some papers that I missed when I went back to Malaysia last month. Sounds OK to you guys? Let me tell you all exactly what happened, & the stupidity of the system here.

1. In order for sit for missed papers from last semester, I will need the Dean's approval. Sounds fair. But wait, there's more..

2. The Dean's office is open only on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays, from 3 PM to 5 PM.

3. Waited in line for 2 hours for the Dean to settle 5 students with the same issue before it's my turn.

4. OK, so I've gotten the permission to sit for 5 papers. After I've passed these papers, I will have to return to the Dean's office (which indirectly means the repetition of No. 2 & 3) to receive a signature from him, certifying that I've passed all 5 papers just so that I can sit for the 6th and final paper, which is a ridiculous paper of 5 multiple choice questions. The questions are absurd. Seriously.

5. After I've passed the 6th paper, I will need to return to the Dean's office, AGAIN, to receive a signature & stamp from the Dean as a verification that I've completed my papers.

Crappy, isn't it? A friend that had a pending paper went to the dekanat with me today & queued for two hours just to be told to come back on Friday. Not to mention too, that the Vice Dean's attitude is crappy & sarcastic as hell, & that he's always late to the office. And oh, they have this 'Russians first' practice too. It doesn't matter if the line is 2 miles long; as long as you're Russian, you don't have to queue.

Heads Will Roll - Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

-MX-

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

Stereotype. What else can I possibly blog about on this one? I've blogged about it before, & I'm here again to express my dissatisfaction about stereotypical thoughts.

It has gotta start from where I'm living now. I'm so distraught by the fact that whenever people think of Russians, images of mafias & crimes are perpetuated & projected directly into their heads. Come on. Russia is not that bad, although I do admit that crime rates are sky high and they aren't exactly that friendly. But hey, that doesn't mean that they're all born with evil intentions.

And if you would just pay a little bit of attention into the media, you'll realise what's going on. Films, especially. I've noticed this for quite some time. For countless number of times I've set foot into the cinema, expecting great action films. And guess what? Hey, the bad guy is Russian again. Casino Royale? Le Chiffre, treasurer of a Soviet-backed trade union. Quantum of Solace? Yusef Kabira, Kazan, Russia. Universal Soldier? General Boris, Russian. The Spy Next Door? Poldark, Russian. Even the latest, most anticipated sequel to Iron Man, the Iron Man 2; Whiplash is a Russian.

I did not went back to Malaysia just to catch myself sitting in a cinema with the antagonist speaking Russian. Sigh.

Yet another ranting post of mine. Sorry if I've offended anyone with what I've said here, but sometimes things are not what you think they are. Do absolutely not believe in any rumours that people are spreading, not until you get the first hand information yourself, not until you've experienced what it's really like. Or perhaps, I should say that I'm starting to blend in & get used to the life of an inostranets (иностранец) / (foreigner). Gotta learn how to live life the Moscovites' way.

Hahah, just for laugh gags. Someone commented on a torrent page, and a fellow user responded in a rather funny way. Hope this makes your day..

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Gregorian.

-MX-

Jump

It's Russia's Men's Day today. Well.. I'm not exactly the type that cares whenever this kind of shit goes on. No, not at all. Men's Day? Let it be. I'm only setting my eyes on the two sumptuous days of holidays. Monday & Tuesday, two of the busiest days in my timetable. And I'm off the hook for this week.

Men's Day? More like Testosterone Day or Gay Day, I presume? I don't care. It's a holiday. And holidays are meant to be enjoyed. Or so I thought. I've been missing out a lot in my studies, it's time to catch up & I've got tons & tons of studying to do. Which means... My holidays = GONE!!!

Go fuck yourself. Go drink all you want & smoke your fermented shit. Stop the fucking bother me. You know who you are. I don't need you here spoiling my life. I've had enough. I'm tired enough with every single shit that's going on around me, and I don't need you to make it worse for me.

Jump - Flo Rida feat. Nelly Furtado.

-MX-

Get Shaky

An all-white Chinese New Year. Hmm.


Complexity & depression invades my mind now. I wonder why. Something bothers me, but I don't know what exactly it is. It's complicated. I feel emotionally pulverized. The feeling of un-belonging.

Every single time I board a Moscow Metro train now, I feel it. It's a form of excitement that gets me nowhere. Ah, finally. A proper elaboration of my feelings. Yes, it's the very same excitement that I get when I was on my way back to Malaysia about a month ago.

Whenever I flip open my wallet, I see those U.S. Dollars & Euros neatly arranged next to the local currency here, I get that stinging sensation on my heart. I see home. I see my family, my friends, my lover. How is that possible?


Am I homesick?

Get Shaky - The Ian Carey Project.

-MX-

The Technicolor Phase

Ahh.. Christmas Eve.. How are you going to enjoy this very special day? Perhaps going on a shopping spree, or spend the night partying into Christmas Day. Whatever you do, I'm here to wish ya'll a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

A little bit of interesting facts on myself; I've been spending at least, if my calculations are correct, 5 past consecutive Christmases & New Year's Days in Singapore. For the first time in 5 years, and the first time in my life, I'm celebrating Christmas away from family members, alone, on a faraway land. It's kinda lonely, I know. Spending Christmas Eve & Christmas Day sleeping & studying in my room seems & sounds like a pathetic method of self-isolation on a supposedly jolly & enjoyable day. But I can't go anywhere. I can't do anything without cash. Poor me. POOR, me.

Anyway, I've received an early Christmas present from Ethan. Although I already knew what is inside that wrapping paper without peeking, I'll wait till tonight before opening it. It's gonna be nice. It's gonna be fun. It's something that I've always been looking & dreading for, but I just can't seem to find it anywhere in Malaysia. Thank you, Ethan Alistair Hon Kit Mun. LoL. Check back tomorrow morning for pics on the present.

Hitting the hay soon, just wanna wish my folks, friends & family members, & especially you.. Merry Christmas, & Happy New Year.

The Technicolor Phase - Owl City.

-MXV-

2 - 1

Not a big deal or something juicy to me, but it is something related to the blog, to my blog. Gotta announce it anyway. MySpace bought imeem. Previous playlist from imeem no longer working on this blog. Playlist replaced. Playlist now from MixPod. That's it.

Yeah, and I haven't exactly took pics of Red Square in snow yet. Went there last Saturday, it was closed & locked to the public, not sure for what valid reasons. But I did take some photos while walking to the campus a few days ago, in the morning, in the snow. Emo life? Maybe.

It's snowing. Pic taken with flash on.

Random.

Sidewalks covered in snow. Cars covered in snow. Roads covered in snow. Everwhere is just white.

Traffic light.

Random.

Stopped by Perekrestok, the 24 Hr. mart to get something light for breakfast.

Inches-thick snow forming a blanket over the road.

My campus.

Campus, from a different angle. Yes, that is a Christmas tree in front of the main entrance. How thoughtful.

Groupmates, in front of the Morphology Department.

Cold? A little. But I just dont find a purpose in wearing those long johns brought all the way from Malaysia. It's not that cold. Really. -28'C sounds a little absurd, but it's not cold at all. The wind, however, is the main culprit. Having cold air around you, and having cold air blowing directly at you are two different situations.

Lazy to continue the post for today. Let's just see if I'll be going to Red Square tomorrow, but the truth is I'm feeling extraordinarily lazy to even set my right foot out of my room. The nice, cold & comfortable weather is causing that. You can't blame me for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First the Earth was flat
But it fattened up when we didn't fall off
Now we spin laps around the Sun
Oh the gods lost 2-1
The host of Heaven pointed out to us from light years away
We're surrounded by a billion galaxies

Things are not always, things are not always how they seem
Will you be ready (will you be ready?)

The interim of life has got you tiptoed and pinning all your hopes on the top dog of dreams
You're not alone in this
The polyfilla way looks strong in the weakness of the gaps

Things are not always, things are not always how they seem
They don't turn out always, don't quite turn out always how we think
Will we be ready (will we be ready?)

I'm dying to know what's in your head
I'm dying to know how it all got in there
I'm dying to know, to help make some sense of it all
I'm dying to know, tell me is it my fault?

And I care about you darling

And I care about you
Course I care about you
More than anyone else

Things are not always, things are not always how they seem
They don't turn out always, don't quite turn out always how we think
Will we be ready?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 - 1 - Imogen Heap.

-MXV-

Sexy Bitch

Ignore the title for this post, for once. I'm feeling very very ecstatic & delirious from the amount of torture & pressure that I'm currently going through. I've had exams & tests 3 weeks in a row, & I'm not getting any breaks yet. Still, I'm here to update this blog just so that you guys wouldn't lose interest & get disappointed with the decreasing amount of posts over the time. Pathetic, huh? Yes, I'm here to, uh, well.. I'd rather say, 'share' my worst fears that are building up. Fears, of living in Moscow. The cases & incidents that I am going to tell you are based on true stories, I didn't make them up.

Third month into the fourth of my life here in Moscow, & I've seen enough to weaken my knees & fear of the worst happening every single time I set foot out of my hostel.

As most of my die-hard readers know, the other day I saw a dead body at the traffic light, & I was horrified at the sight of it & the fact that nobody gives a damn about that dead man. I thought that was it. I thought that was all. I was wrong. I was so wrong.

About 2 weeks ago, a train from Moscow to St. Petersburg was bombed & derailed. Deaths & injuries were reported, Google it up for the exact number.

And yes, the same incident happened two years ago, where a train was bombed & also derailed on the very same route, Moscow - St. Petersburg.

In April 2007, about 3 years ago, foreign students were told to stay in their dorms to prevent unwanted attacks on Adolf Hitler's birthday, which is on the 20th of April. Yes, racist attacks.

A few of my friends that went to the Manchester Utd. vs. Russia football match managed to escape from mobs that went berserk & attacked foreigners at the stadium after the Russian team lost.

4 days ago, my friend was robbed while he was buying a shaurma near a supermarket. He lost his phone & about 3000 roubles in cash, which converts into about RM 350. Fortunately, he wasn't hurt.

About 3 days ago, I was informed that a man was murdered near the M1 building, & the body was dumped on the Metro railway tracks & a train ran over it.

Things like this happens every single day. Road rage is common, I've seen people getting down of their cars & fighting in the middle of the road. Every single day, something happens & people die without valid reasons, & at times they die an unwilling death. I'm just so paranoid, so afraid till I couldn't care more. I can't be bothered anymore by things like this.

Of course I've not forgotten about the winter pics that I've promised. But not now. Blame it on global warming, ya? Snowing had just begun, and I'm still waiting for the inch-thick snow cover to form before taking pictures of them beautiful sceneries. No, that ain't typo. In a week's time, my fellow readers.

And yes, even with all the safety issues aside, I've managed to find a little bit of comfort & company here. Some dramatic friends I've made with their dramatic stories. Their love lives, their studies, their issues with their own friends or even room-mates which seems to be more important than their up & coming exams. Drama, drama & more drama. Yes, definitely.. It's not that bad after all, there are good things that are happening around me, which I really appreciate. Things that cheered me up, well, at least by a little. I'm not being over-proud of myself, but.. I have a friend here, & upon discovering my collection of songs & techno, club-style tracks & the songs that I introduce to him, he told me that he 'trust my taste in picking the finest tracks, which is comparable to picking a needle out of a stack of hay'. I'm offered a task by a senior; to be the DJ for the up & coming Christmas gathering-cum-party which will be held on the 19th of December by the Malaysian Christian Fellowship. I feel honoured. I really am. But I do also have my own worries; it's been years since I last played songs for gatherings. I really don't wanna screw up & ruin the whole Christmas experience for them. Yet, I'll be more than just glad to be able to play for them. Never thought that I'd be bringing the whole DJ-ing thing here, all the way from Malaysia. Music & me? Inseparable.

Thanks for listening to my rants, and sorry for the delayed post. Pictures will be up soon, I promise. Here ya'll go, one of my personal favourites.

Sexy Bitch - David Guetta feat. Akon.

-MXV-

I Don't Care

Woke up one morning, looked out the window of my pitiful squarish prison-like cell, known to the Malaysian students of Russian State Medical University here as their 'hostel' or 'home'. Ahh, the firsts of snow. The grass is covered by snow. Forming a blanket on cars and roofs. It's snowing. It's cool, and at the same time, it's cold.

How am I supposed to survive the rest of winter? God knows, but I shall try.

Maybe this will keep me warm for the coming months. To my fellow Malaysian friends, don't be jealous. This is the only thing that I'm thankful for, and appreciate dearly.


Yes, I don't have to be reminded of this. I will, of course, take pictures of Red Square in winter. Soon.

I Don't Care - Apocalyptica feat. Adam Gontier.

-MXV-