Nobody's Home

WARNING : Some of the pictures uploaded for the post today are graphical, and may cause discomfort to minors or weak-hearteds. View at your own consent.


No more muttons for me. The story:

Drove to Wangsa Maju Section 5 for a car wash today, and went N.Z. for lunch. After lunch, I walked out of the restaurant & stood near the tree while waiting for the workers to vacuum & clean the interior of the car. Then I saw a goat tied to a pole near where my car is parked, making noise, struggling to release itself from the rope as if it's fearful of something. Then, on the other side, I saw a restaurant worker getting hold of another goat while another man slits it's throat. I saw the whole thing happening & went dumb, stood there just watching as the goat dies a painful death. I feel so wrong to stand there just watching, and felt guilty after remembering that I'm a mutton curry-lover. Heh. The goat, struggling for air with it's blood-red coloured throat & neckbone exposed to air rolled a few times on the ground & died while the other goat tied to a pole just sits & watches the whole ordeal. I went home after that with an upset stomach. LoL. No, didn't vomit. Just feeling funny after the lunch. Haha.


Didn't manage to get the goat's picture, here's the 'murder scene'. Heh.

Showered, got a call from Yip saying that we should meet at B.R.J. at 7 P.M.. Fetched John On from his house & waited for the others. While waiting, Chan saw us and sat with us in front of the restaurant. Then, a kitten came & licked John On's foot while brushing it's body against his leg. Ahh, a cute kitten that followed us everywhere. Too bad we can't have it in my car or else it would have just followed us to San Francisco Pizza at Section 5 for dinner. I jokingly told Chan when he was watching the cat, "Oi, you wanna watch another cat to be ran down by a car is it??". Common viewers will remember the post a few months ago where I uploaded pics of a cat being ran over by a taxi. After the dinner at San Francisco, we went back to Section 2 for DotA at tBun, and this is what we saw once we got down from the car.

No, I didn't ran over it. We saw the kitten lying in the middle of the road as soon as we got down from the car. It's the same kitten that we've been playing with less than 2 hours ago, and now it's dead. How do you actually feel when the same happens to you? It was so innocent, the kitten. It was wandering around in the middle of the road, lying there licking it's paws not suspecting that there will be any car that will take it's life. I feel bad for what I've said. Life is cruel. Sigh.

Enjoy this good ol' song by Avril Lavigne, Nobody's Home.

-MXV-

Renegade

Never really slept last night. Stayed up the whole night, & then SMS-ed SukYeng whether I should fetch her to college. Yeah, I was around Sri Petaling last night. Last night? This morning, to be precise. Zipping the highway at top speed in the middle of the night, which was once my dream is now my everyday life. Heh. Talking about midnight racer wannabe. There was this Honda Civic Type R I came across at the MRR2, somewhere near Taman Connaught. It's the old model, one model before the current Type R. Not something that I should be racing with. LoL. With 200 bhps under the hood, he can easily outrun me. Yet somehow I struggled & managed to stay in front of him all the way to Sri Petaling. LoL. Give me that Civic & I'm most probably dead by now.

Went college for Biology, Chemistry & Pure Maths. Went home & slept till 8:30 P.M.. Super sleeper? Yeah.. Especially when you're so darn tired after working hard at night. Did I just mentioned 'working'? Heh..

Here's Renegade, by ATB. I have no idea who the female singer is, but I love her voice. And ATB did a good job at producing the tunes to match her voice. Enjoy.

-MXV-

Inner Smile

Sorry for the late post for today. Just came back from a gathering. Gathering? Well, much of a small get-together actually. Melvin & Yip just came back from their college, so Nicholas was insisting that I should organize a small 'yumcha' session since he & other STPM mates had just finished their SPM trials as well.

As usual.. Meet at 7:30 P.M. in front of B.R.J., then to Danau Kota for dinner/supper. Ah, we've had this many times so this time is just like any other. Grilled fish, for sure. Balitong as well, and then nasi lemak, popiah, loh bak, chicken rice & all the wonderful food. Haha. We finished early, went tBun for 2 games of DotA. It was fun, but we had some troubles trying to balance the team as many of them are, erm, noobs.. xD Not that I'm soooooo pro.. Oh well..

At least I felt better after meeting friends & had a good time with them. Being emo isn't really that fun. Really. I don't wanna be emo either, but it's my surroundings that affect me. I'm just hoping that everything will be better for me after this, as things are starting to look good..

Inner Smile, by Texas. Remember, nothing else matters more than your own kindness, your inner self. Be nice to others, and others will be nice to you (although I can't actually guarantee you). Haha.. Enjoy the song, smile always. =)

-MXV-

Ku Ai

Lying on my bed, trying to get some sleep. Then I thought of the moments I had back in secondary school. How I used to have my meals beside the badminton court during recess. How I used to skip History classes (and got caught twice). Well of course, nothing beats the experience of wooing girls back then. Heh.. Girls? Girl, I suppose.. I think most of my friends know the story. About how I waited for a girl for 5 continuous years. How I've tried everything I could just to get an inch closer to her. But ya' see, when you actually like someone, there's this hesitancy to talk to that person. Ya' know, afraid of ruining everything by saying all the wrong things..

Well then, there's this girl. This girl who I still remember to date, yet have neither contacted nor spoke to for months. Not that I don't wanna talk to her anymore, but I just don't feel like telling her my new number after I've lost my phone. I'm feeling the distance between us; the gap is getting wider. She doesn't have time for me, that I believe. Everytime when I see her in college, I tried to talk to her, but she's always avoiding me, rarely allowing me to finish a single sentence.

Back in high school, there're plenty of short poems that I've wrote, every single of them unique and displays my true, real emotions. I wrote some for her, and I don't know what did she actually thought about them. No idea, not to this very day. I did many things, all the small little things to get her attention, yet I'm rejected over & over again.

And I was hoping that a special day will come. A day where only the both of us will sit down, have a proper conversation without anyone spoiling it. There was this trip that I've organized around April last year, which is really memorable and undoubtedly one of the most enjoyable, confirmed by my fellow friends. 7 persons, 5 boys 2 girls and we're set to dominate Cameron Highlands. Many things happened, even though it was just a 3D2N trip. Those who went for the trip have seen ups and downs in me, friendship bonds on the verge of breaking, and happy moments we've all had. I was so emo at that time that I've brought 12 500ML-cans of Heineken up there & finished 9, 2 of them by Yip. I promised myself that I will not reveal so much about everything that happened during the trip, yet I can't resist but to blog about it now.

Shaun & Yip were having a feud back then over Sita, a girl that both of them admired at the same time. Yip was actually with Sita at the time of the trip, but was jealous and angry seeing how close Sita was with Shaun. Understandable, and I will most probably feel the same way as Yip did if the same thing ever happen to me, which I hope not. Karuna & JunYew, as always, the I-don't-care-what-you-guys-are-having,-I-just-wanna-have-fun type are problem free during the whole trip. Then there's this 2 girls in the trip, Sita & Elaine, that spiced up everything else for us.

On the first day on our arrival at Brinchang, things were a lil' cool for us, & I'm as usual spending most of my time alone. Got out of the hotel room at around midnight and had beer outside in the cold, at the bus stop. Things are already heating up for Yip & Shaun. Yip joined me after that, and then Shaun came looking for us. Ahh, I was the middle-man in their case. Listening to how they talk behind each others' back, I thought it'll be impossible to save this friendship that they have had for years. I just sat there, listening to Yip at times & Shaun alternately while feeding on my own emo-ness.

Second day consisted of nothing but pure fun & enjoyment. Although I was feeling a little groggy in the morning because of all the Heinekens that I've had on the night before (and still feeling a lil' emo), I followed the others, visiting and sight-seeing around Cameron. It was great and we took many pictures. Things got a little better for me & Elaine, & so I bought her a bouquet of roses and handed it to her in front of all of our friends. I wouldn't do that if we didn't had the whole tour bus to ourselves. It was embarassing, but after that I felt as if I'm stress-free, and when she said "Thanks, you're so sweet..", it melted my heart right away and I felt as if I've scaled Mt. Everest. Lame, yes. Yip bought some flowers for Sita too, and that helped mend their relationship a little. We switched to Rosa Passadena Hotel in the evening as the rooms there are cleaner and much more comfortable, and then out to the night market to buy food back to the hotel. We had our dinner on the carpet with newspaper laid all over the boys' room, and it somehow tastes better than the steamboat we had on the night before. We played games, and all of us did some silly stuffs. We had Karuna accidentally farting while laughing, Sita shouting "Ahaha I so gedik!!" at the window, me doing catwalk on the bed.. There were simply too much fun.

Then the moment of truth came. I told her that we needed to talk, & after all the games that we've had I went into the girls' room and locked the door; it's all about us now. Sita went somewhere with Karuna, but I'm not sure where. We talked, and I was so happy that finally we're having some privacy & time to ourselves. We talked about almost everything; from school to family; to her sister, to my parents.. Spent almost 2 hours in the room, and finally she asked; "Do you still like me?". I was petrified when she asked me that; my whole body went numb. I took a deep breath. Then I answered, "As honest as I can be, yeah..". To tell the truth, that was actually my first time confessing to a girl, face to face. It wasn't easy, but somehow I managed to gather enough courage to do that. That's the point where everything crumbled & fell. She told me that it's too early for her to start a relationship, & she doesn't want to think about it yet. I knew it the moment I looked in her eyes; it's simply an excuse. An excuse I've heard over the past few years. The same excuse that caused all the pain & sorrow in me. I sensed it in her; she doesn't like me one bit. Silence enshrouded the room for a while, & then Sita came in & broke the silence. "Oh sorry, am I disturbing you guys?". I looked at Elaine, & then said, "No, it's alright. I suppose we're done.". She just sat there on the bed, unsure of what to say.

Then I recalled having a silver necklace with a pendant in my bag. A small gift which was the last and also the priciest I've ever gave. The numbers are nothing compared to one short moment of joy and happiness for her. So I unlocked the door connecting the boys' room to the girls', and took the pendant from the zipped pocket on my bag. I brought it in, and Sita hastily removed the necklace from the box & stared at it with amuse. She insisted that I help Elaine to put on the necklace. I did, with no obligations. She stared down on the bed, with an expression of a thousand thoughts on her face and I put it on her. My heart bled, words that she've said still echoing in my head. I wanted to cry, but I held on to it & tried not to show what I really feel.

After that night, we talked less & less. The next day, we boarded a bus & headed back to K.L.. I sat beside her, but we never really talked. This is what I was afraid of. All this while I'm trying to make everything right, but everything went wrong eventually. College started for us after that, & we're not really able to communicate that well anymore.

I was badly hurt till' the day I met Janice. Everything went well for us, I loved her & I thought she was my everything. I thought I would finally be able to move on with life. Well, it turns out that I was wrong. For some reason I was dumped, and here I am stranded on an isolated island, dying of loneliness. I still love her, but what's the point? She's not feeling the same for me. I will embark on another journey. A journey that I've been through before; to search for the one. It's not easy, I'm still blinded by what had happened, and I'm still stuck although it's been almost a year.

It was a habit for me to write poems whenever I feel down, and here's another piece from me, inspired by the flashback on my life that I've had.

Words Left Unspoken

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hearts,
Hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.
As clear as crystal it might be,
As sharp as broken glass it may cut.
As beautiful as paradise love may be,
As hurtful as love once truth blurt.

Tell me why,
Never be shy,
Coz' hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.

Procastination,
Makes up an excuse.
Hesitation,
Is simply to refuse.

Ventured out of a darkness,
Trapped in another sadness.
Days, weeks, months, years,
Will be gone all these tears.

As I drove in the dusk,
The lights broke the darkness of the night.
That's the least I could ask,
Yet my truthfulness is your fright.

Lie, I may not.
Cry, I will not.
Forget, I cannot.
Regret, you shall not.
Coz' hearts are often broken by words left unspoken...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That shall end the post for today. I uploaded Wen De Tai Bi Zhen by Hins Cheung last night, & I did mentioned about the Cantonese version of this song. The Cantonese version carries a different title, though. Here's Ku Ai, by Hins Cheung.

-MXV-

Wen De Tai Bi Zhen

After being a blogger for some time, I noticed that it's starting to become a trend to bash people in their personal blogs. I'm sure most of you that have your own blog knows what it's like. Oh yes.. What I don't really like is, these people post comments on your blog without reading your post thoroughly. What's even worse is that sometimes anonymous viewers 'share' their so-called 'piece of mind' without revealing themselves, which I see as a cowardly act. I believe your moms gave each of you guys two of those small little round-shaped reproductive object, which does actually represents your manhood. What happened? I suppose you lost them while playing your addictive online games, then you became too paranoid to leave your desktop and start to release your anger on others by pathetically typing hurtful & untruthful words in their testimonial/cBox/comment box. If you know what I mean, and if you're a girl, stop being a bitch & get a husband to fuck away your miseries. No, seriously. I'm that angry at them right now. Looks like I'll post up a notice on the comments page, just so that I will not receive any further inappropriate comments. Sure it's fine for you to let out what you think here, but please, be considerate & lessen your curses & insults. It's as if you go to school & learn nothing but insults & how to flame others. Don't irritate others if you yourself are irritating.

I'll assume that ya'll understand if I don't get any comments on the post today. For one last time I'd like to remind ya'll; stop being so ignorant when posting comments or messages in cBox on others' blogs.

Here's Wen De Tai Bi Zhen by Hins Cheung. Not sure if I'll upload the Cantonese version of this song tomorrow. Hmm..

-MXV-

Matchstick Paradise

First and foremost; no, this is not a post depicting racism. Just to ensure that I don't receive any comments from some that talk before they think.

As we all know, it's the fasting month for the Muslims now. And I'm sure most of you will agree with me that some of these 'fasters' are impatient on the road. Something happened just now when I'm driving back home, and I felt that I should blog about it.

I was at the junction turning into Wangsa Melawati, opposite of the KLSC. I was at the outer lane, so I tapped on the left-turn signal & slowly switched into the left lane. I do notice that there's a taxi behind me, trying to switch into the right lane. The taxi simply swerved into the right lane without the right-turn signal, and he came up on my right, honked me & showed me his middle finger. I believe this is a familiar situation for most drivers with probationary licenses like me, as these so called 'experienced' drivers thinks that we're easy to be bullied. Deep down in my heart, I was cursing him, hoping that he'll crash into the trailer in front of him. Come on, just because you're fasting, it doesn't mean that you can drive like your daddy owns the road. I'm sure the Quran teaches ya'll to be patient during the fasting period, not inconsiderate while doing things. Rude taxi drivers like him spoils the image of our country. They're the first to be blamed if our country's reputation on the international stage is damaged. There's also an article that I've read on MSNBC, stating that our taxi services are some of the worst in the world. Taxi drivers refuses to use the meter and overcharges foreign tourists, particularly at tourist attractions, KLCC as an excellent example. Sometimes not even the locals are spared from these cut-throats.

Does this song fit into the 'emo' category? I don't know.. You listen to it & decide yourself. Heh. Mathcstick Paradise, by Linda Chung, the pretty newcomer in TVB. Oh yes, the 2004 Miss Chinese International.. Huhu.. Enjoy..

-MXV-

Flight 643

I've been eating a lot lately, and today is no exception. Woke up late in the afternoon, around 3 P.M., and I'm still having 3 meals today. My body is stock-piling on fats, thats for sure. Heh. I live to eat, and my car is my girl. Wahahahah... Zzz..

Not sure why am I such a good boy today, staying at home the whole day studying my ass off. Uhh, studying? Is spending 2 hours flipping through notes considered as studying as well? I don't know.. Felt way too sleepy after that & went back to bed at around 5:30 P.M., short nap till 7 P.M.. After this it's DotA time for me again!! Hahaha..

Flight 643 [Live in Los Angeles], by DJ Tiesto.

-MXV-

Open Your Eyes

I haven't had the chance to catch up with one of my favourite T.V. series lately. Woke up around 10 P.M. just now, and watched an episode of CSI: NY. Uhh, well.. I watch it for the girls.. Hahaha. Nah, just kidding. I love to watch & learn how crimes are being solved, and how the criminals face justice. Let's just say that I'm crazy about CSI, alright?

Obtained my Statement of Entry for the October/November A2 examination. The exam takes only less than 2 weeks, but it is stretched over a period of a month with alternate days where we don't have to sit for any papers. There're two sides to this anyway; we'll have enough time to do more revisions. But at the same time it is also a waste of almost 2 weeks. Let us off earlier, TARC!! LoL. A total of 14 papers.. Uhh, not that bad, right? @.@

My college life is almost over, and I'll be missing friends & classmates that obviously will not miss me. Hahaha.. How true is that.. Oh well, that'll also mean that I would have to move on to another stage of life.. Sigh.. Uni? Darnn... Hope the uni folks will be easy on me. Hmm..

Well here it is.. My new amplifier, or Mohawk-under-my-seat.. Ahaha..

Short post!! Gotta study... Zzz.. Oh, got a definition for DotA as well.. Dunia Orang Tanpa Awek™. Hahahaha.. It's kinda true, right? I'm a no-life bachelor spending my time DotA-ing everyday without fail.. It's like I can find my real self in the game.. =.=
Open Your Eyes (Original Insigma Mix), by Insigma.

-MXV-

In Our Lifetime

Had a Mohawk MS 100.2 2-channel 200 watts amplifier installed in my car today. What can I say, sound quality is much better now. Clearer, with better bass. Ah, bass.. Talking about bass, the guy at the accessory shop recommended a subwoofer to be installed in the boot, taking up minimal space. The only drawback is, they'll have to drill holes on the panel to hold the subwoofer in place. Whatever upgrades it is that I'll do to my car, I'll never have anyone to drill anywhere on or in the car, or touch the engine compartment. Crucial, as holes drilled may cause water leakage. Uh-uh, bad idea, no thanks.

Revisions are getting boring for me, and I'm falling asleep almost as soon as I flipped open pages of the past-year question books. What an effective remedy for insomnia. LoL.

Nothing much to blog about today, will go for classes tomorrow. Hope so. Heh.. Here's In Our Lifetime, by Texas.

-MXV-

Predictable

Yet another post by me, in the middle of the night. It's 4:05 A.M. on my watch, and I can't sleep. I couldn't tell whether my biological clock has gone haywired or is it all the things that happened abruptly lately that is meddling with my sleeping time. I would usually be asleep at this time of the night, snoring like a pig, sailing through my dreams. Instead, I'm here lying on my bed blogging, hoping to find peace for my mind. Insomnia? Maybe. The lack of proper rest at night maimed my normal day-life. Being sleepy & tired daytime, I forced myself to stay awake. I'll only take an afternoon nap if I'm at home.

Resting my back against the wall, I can hear my neighbours talking & making slight noises. They probably woke up early to get prepared for sahur before their morning prayers. Should I at least try to get some sleep? I wouldn't be blogging here if I can... Sigh..

Predictable - Good Charlotte.

-MXV-

Lady (Hear Me Tonight)

After the incident that happened the morning before, I thought the excitement had helped me free myself from the tough grasp of sadness. The feel-good euphoria doesn't last long though; I realised that I was wrong.

Went Pavilion with John On & Kevin today for movies. Yeah, we watched Love Guru & Money No Enough 2 there. Yeap, both of which I've already watched earlier. I didn't mind watching the movies for the second time, coz they're really that good. Well... Money No Enough 2, at 2:50 P.M., GSC Pavilion, Hall 3. I've got a strange feeling, the hesitancy, when we were walking into the hall. You know, the kind of feeling as if you're not welcomed or don't deserve to be there. I was right. She was sitting a row right in front of me. Of all the days in a week, why today? Of all the shopping complexes in K.L., why Pavilion? Of all the movies available, why Money No Enough 2? Of all the showtimes available, why the 2:50 P.M. show? The odds are great that I will not run into her, and I was petrified, locked & sank into my seat when I saw her there. Oh, she's with there with her cousins. Alright. Let's pretend as if nothing has happened. Why am I STILL looking at her? Why do I have to pay RM 12 just to return myself into the loophole of misery I was once in? I was itching to send her a SMS just to find out if she's doing fine, but I didn't.

I'm grateful, knowing that I've got sharp hawk-like eyes that could scan the whole area of view within a second and be aware of the details in it, but this time it is the bliss that backfired me. I'm already in a checkmate, to what limits is the God pushing me? He gave me a little less than 24 hours to enjoy myself before giving me another 24 weeks to live miserably. Thank you, you're being SO fair to me.

Lady (Hear Me Tonight) [Acoustic Version] - Modjo.

I'm so desperate to let out my feelings that this makes the second post for today.

-MXV-

And Then We Kiss

DAMN!!! I've got this urge, I feel the need to post in the middle of the night. Something interesting I've yet to share with ya'll. And I'm suffering right now. Really. I couldn't sleep, & there's someone on my mind now. Hohoho.. Shit, I'm feeling so crazy, so ecstactic. Is there anyone that can slap me back into reality? Because it's as if I'm floating, living & blogging in a dream right now!! Am I drunk? Did someone drugged me or something? Black magic?? Voodoo?? Argh!!!

I'M F##KING IN LOVE!!!

I'M F##KING IN LOVE!!!

I'M F##KING IN LOVE!!!

I'M F##KING IN LOVE!!!

I'M F##KING IN LOVE!!!

I'M F##KING IN LOVE!!!

Alright, alright. Am I back?? Am I sane?? Or insane?? HAHAHAHAHA!!! Darn.. Okay, okay, I'll explain the reason I'm feeling so mad now..

Ya see, I was at B.R.J. this morning, having breakfast. To be exact, WATCHING Vincent & Jole having their breakfast while sipping on my iced Milo. And THEN!! Here's the best part... Jeng jeng jeng!! Ahahahahah I'm soooooo mad!! My eyes were running wild, looking around B.R.J. as I'm waiting them to finish their meal. I saw a girl, sitting directly opposite of me. My GOSH!! It's not that she's extremely pretty or what, but it's the type of girl, or MY TYPE of girl.. Hahahah. THE SYMBOL OF FERTILITY!!! LMAO!!! HAHAHAHAH!!! My God.. She's most probably in her 20s, looking matured, in glasses. Age might be the only limiting factor, which I hope doesn't exist at all. But maturity is also my priority. Kwahahahahah!! She's not thin, & not fat. Moderate, I suppose? A size that I prefer. Hahahahah. Kinda tall for a girl, only a little shorter than me, which is also in my preference check list. Her facial features are things that I've been looking for all this while. I don't know how to describe her any better, but she's such a sweet looking girl with long hair; the type of girl that I'd like to bring home to meet my parents. Or dare I say, PERFECTION AT IT'S BEST!! The look she gave melts my heart, and the smile on her face.. KILL ME!!!

She's just an average looking tall girl, but I'm so attracted to her!! Ya' know, sometimes a person may look average to the others but special to you.. That's the kind of look she have. A look that I can't forget. Her face reappears in my mind over & over again, like a slideshow on a loop. I've been thinking about her the whole day. Is this a crush? Coz' I haven't had one for such a long time already. Today is the first time I saw her at the restaurant, and I hope it'll not be the last. Love at first sight!!! Pleaseeee... I'm sooo in love... I NEED TO KNOW HER!!! Gawdddd... Damn... Damn... DAMNNN!!! If I'll see her again, I'll do ANYTHING to approach her.. I've never felt this kind of excitement, the ecstasy, the adrenalin rush before. Never in my life. Please, darling... Your existence surged my blood pressure, it'll change my life just by getting to know you.. Not trying to be exaggerating, but it's true!!

I can't sleep. I seriously can't. I'm going crazy. I AM crazy. Or am I??

And then we kisssssssssssssssssssssss~~~~~~~~~~ Gahahahahahah!!

And Then We Kiss [Junkie XL Undressed Remix] - Britney Spears.

Oh yeah dear friends.. I'M IN LOVE!!!

-MXV-

If You're Gone

Alright, I'm going to ask this question again. Why do I always have to be the one tolerating other people? Something happened, and Chan was sorta scolding me for something which I didn't do. I replied in an angry tone, and the next thing I know, everyone is saying that it's my fault to raise my voice at him. What the hell is this? I'm already having a bad mood swing on that day, with everyone unconsciously pissing me off, and they didn't seem to bother that. Oh, so I'll have to be the one to apologize to him now? I don't mind apologizing and forgiving, but can you have at least some respect for me, and view things from my perspective? I know it's my fault, my wrong to raise my voice at Chan, but why must he scold me without finding out the truth first? This is not the first time it happened, and I doubt it'll be the last. If you want people to respect you and your feelings, why don't you do the same first? I was pretty pissed off that Adrian & Rashan are standing by his side, but I'm trying my best not to involve them. It's just something small and stupid which shouldn't be spoiling our friendship, and if apologizing is what it takes to save it, then I'm sorry. But if it is egoism in yourself that you can't seem to get rid of, then I'll take back my apology. What's the point if you're not gonna learn?

Forget that, spoils my mood. It's funny to know the fact that this world is so big, yet so small. That phrase will keep ya'll wondering what I'm trying to say, but one person will get it right without any effort. Haha.. You know who you are. Now, I've got this guy friend that went on a blind date with the sister of another girl friend of mine. LoL. And he was telling me about how hot my friend is. I think I've mentioned her name in a few earlier posts; she's the one studying in Genting College. Yeap, Elizabeth. Hot? Yeah.. Sort of.. Hahaha. I was just listening to him, feeling sleepy till he sent me a Facebook link, which I inadvertently (uhh, it's not on purpose, I SWEAR!!) clicked. Then, I had a shock of my life when I saw Elizabeth's photo, just below her profile name. I burst out laughing, for I'm totally not expecting that, AT ALL!!

A hit around 2000-2002, If You're Gone by Matchbox Twenty. Used to listen to this all the time when I was in primary school. Beautiful song, indeed. Enjoy.

-MXV-

至少還有你

Dinner, anyone? Hmm..

Why the heck am I so obsessed with Chinese songs lately? Sigh.. Old songs, like this one for today, they're simply too good, too perfect to be forgotten by their Chinese listeners. Back in the 90s, this song is a major hit, plays on every single Mandarin or Cantonese - orientated radio stations everyday. With new songs by newcomers flooding the music industry, old tracks are literally buried, collecting dust at the bottom of the track list. Cover versions are usually not as good as the original ones. Try this song here, and you'll know what I mean. If you're a frequent radio listener, you'll notice that there are many different versions of this song sung by different artists, and they'll never be as good as original. 林憶蓮 [Sandy Lam] - 至少還有你 [Zhi Shao Hai You Ni].

-MXV-

世界第一等

Can I be emo for just another day...? Aww please please pleaseee....? Went online today & found this song that I've been searching high & low for quite some time. Not sure where to find the download source, yet hesitating to fork out cold hard cash for the original CD. What? Too many emo posts for this week already? Alright, alright.. I'll leave that for tomorrow then..

Short post, short post... Why? Coz' there's simply nothing interesting in my life.. Haiz.. Here's 世界第一等 [Top Of The World] by Andy Lau, this song marks the first upload of Hokkien songs into my blog. Heh.. Well at least it ain't that emo, and I've actually got tons of good Hokkien songs to be uploaded.. Enjoy, my Hokkien listeners..

-MXV-

2 Become 1

Alright, here's the last video I've made. GRID, again. Well, this is really the last I guess. I've got this inspiration to make one after listening to one of the songs from the Super Eurobeat 186 album. I know I'm not that good at making videos, but please do watch & comment on it. Consists of some scenes from different replays that I've recorded earlier, some of which may look familiar to those who have watched my previous GRID replays.



How was that? =D Song used in the video is Running Fire, by Ace Warriors.

Ya' know, I've been looking for the instrumental version of 2 Become 1, by Spice Girls for quite some time, & I finally found it today. So I've decided to share it with ya'll tonight. No, not trying to make a long post for tonight as I'm not really in the mood for it. Here's 2 Become 1 [Instrumental] by Spice Girls. Enjoy.

-MXV-

I Miss You

Two videos of my driftings in my earlier post, & I'm already being called a sifu by Malcolm. Hahahaha. It's just a game, & it's not that hard to handle the corners if you have a real car. Or do you need me to demo it for you?? Hahaha.. Anyway, here's another Mt. Akina run video. Almost the same, except that this time I completed the whole route, or in other words, I drifted all the way to the bottom from the peak. Enjoy watching the video, & keep an eye on 0:21-0:24, and 1:03 - 1:07, pulled some close, dangerous maneuver there.



Anyone wanna get into a midnight touge with me? xD

Another video, for those that gaming doesn't suit them. LoL. Comedy, sent to me by Celine, I thought it was funny & I've decided to post it here. These guys are really good, & they'll make you laugh to your tears. Let me introduce to you... Ryan Higa & Sean Fujiyoshi, How to Be Ninja!! LoLz..



Haha.. Alright, song for today.. Hmm.. I Miss You, by Blink 182. What a classic.

-MXV-

Rain

Hmm.. What a rainy afternoon.. It's been drizzling for the whole afternoon, & it should be a good time to take a nap. But I didn't. I don't feel sleepy or exhausted at all. Instead, I've been spending quite some time looking out of my window, feeling the breezy, wet & gloomy afternoon, staring at the dark grey sky. Owh, I've got an idea. The mood that inspired me to share a song with ya'll. Hahaha.

Anyway, went Pavilion last night with cheL'. Uhh, for dinner, at T.G.I. Friday's. Am I pampering her a little too much? Haha.. C'mon, I pamper all my friends, if you still haven't noticed. Some pictures below, taken at T.G.I.F. & while driving in K.L., around Jalan Raja Chulan. Uhh, nightlife. K.L. is such a beautiful city at night. The only letdown that spoils the beauty of K.L. is, well, the prostitutes, especially the GAY or transgender ones. Of course, I have more to describe but I'm trying not to talk too much about prostitution here, or else those uncanny porn search websites will place my blog in their search engines. It happened once, and if you often come to my site via Google you'll know which post it is.

Erh? o.O

Part of the 3-course meal.

Trans? Not that I'm discriminating them but.. Sigh.

Bukit Bintang, at night.

In front of Pavilion.

Nightlife in K.L.

Driver's blues..


K.L., K.L..

Wisma Genting.

More 'ah guas'..

Closer shot. I swear you'll be able to find something dangling between their legs. o.O

Clubbers' paradise.

The Lair of Vice. Music, drugs, alcohol & sex = Catastrophic. This, is what our future generations are doing.

KLCC, at night.

That's all the pictures taken last night. Battery was critically low, & my camera sucks. So please forgive me for the blur images.

Ya' know, all this while I thought I'd be driving alone, being emo & feeling down all the time. Today, I realised that I DO have a friend that'll be able to follow me wherever I go.. That'll be the witness to all my anger, sadness & loneliness.. Introduction? He's Blinky. The small black doll, always resting at the rear passenger seat, accompanying me through every single journey everyday.

Thanks for being there for me, Blinky.. P.S: Oh, don't forget the seat belt..

Alright, all those pictures should complete the post for today. For no-life gaming maniac readers like me; here's another replay of the Mt. Akina run, except that this time my opponent is a 350Z, & I smoked him clean. No damages, clean & clear drifts. Watch & comment!!



What's the song that I wanted to share with ya'll again..? Oh right.. Rain - Koda Kumi. Hehe..

-MXV-

Lady (Hear Me Tonight)

Yeah, I bought GRID last night. And guess what? One of the reviews I've read from Wiki is quite true. This game is intended only for people that have a steering wheel. Played the game for a while & noticed that the controls are quite similar to real life driving, except that they're tougher. Seriously!! Steering is too sensitive, & in the game, almost any car can drift. Turn a little too much & you'll be doing the donut turn instead.

Went Pavilion just now. Uhh, will upload pics tomorrow as I'm feeling quite sleepy now. Hehe. It's kinda late already, so I'll just end this post here. Lady (Hear Me Tonight) by Modjo. Enjoy, & sorry for the short post.

-MXV-

Heartbeat

I played Race Driver: GRID at tBun today, and I'll have to say it is one of the best racing game I've played. Very realistic graphics and gameplay. Uhh, took a few screenshots of the game, not of the best angles but at least ya'll can see me drift in a R34 GTR at my best. xD Oh, and there's also a replay of the second race in the same car that I've recorded. The driftings in my second attempt aren't that good, but that is by far the best Mt. Akina clearance I've done. Best as in never hitting anything all the way to the finish line. Well, the dumb Supra behind me did kissed my rear bumper a little, & there goes my beautiful R34 GTR. =(

The cover art for the game.

Second corner on Mt. Akina.

My beloved R34 GTR. xD


The second last corner before the finish line. Err.. Yeah my driving kinda sucked there & I lost control of the car . =x



The replay of the second run.

Everything in this game is realistic, especially damages to the car. Or dare I say, far better than Need For Speed ProStreet. I'm definitely going to install this one here in my PC no matter what. Gonna get the game soon, maybe going out later. xD 4.7 out of 5 stars. Let's just see if the up & coming installment in the Need For Speed series could beat this one. Need For Speed Undercover, one of the most anticipated game has made me wait for quite some time already. I don't know since when I got so immersed & crazy about gaming, but games are starting to look interesting to me as they improve.

Something has always been a mystery to me. I was wondering why my dad loves Hokkien dramas so much till I watched one of the episodes myself. There's a Hokkien TV series currently running on Astro AEC, & it's been running for more than 2 years already. Yeah, over 400+ episodes if im not mistaken. So I took a peek at the drama today, and I was literally stuck to the couch until the credits roll. Why? Because those Taiwanese actresses are so darn pretty!!! LoL. Not to mention that the storyline is good too, but it is the hot girls that managed to capture all my attention. xD They are sooooo good looking, I can make ANY of them my wife & live happily ever after. Hahaha.

Alright, enough crapping. Gotta end this post here & to the game shop to look for the Race Driver: GRID DVD. Heartbeat, by Madonna as the featured song for today.

-MXV-

Yue Lao

Just came back from Joey's place. Reformatted his PC for him, it was struck by some sort of virus that interferred with his binary files. He knows almost nothing about BIOS & CMOS, so he asked for my help. Did nothing much, except pressing a few buttons on the keypad, hit the Enter button & waited for the whole process to complete.

I'm having really bad mood swings lately, which I suppose explains why there're always different tones in my recent posts. Maybe because of my studies? I quickly lose concentration & determination to get things done, feel sleepy, tired, & emo all the time. Something to do with deteriorating health condition? It's not that I want it either. The final examinations are just around the corner & this is bad for me. But, blog & studies are two things which I cannot & will not abandon. Maybe I'll just have to rest more. Maybe.

I'm at my worst now. I've never felt as troubled as I am now, not in the past few months. No, not THAT bad. Why? It's like I've missed or lost something in my life. Something big & important. Something that money can't buy. Something that can possibly make me regret my decision for the rest of my life. Something that I can't describe, or carries no meaning with mere words.

Music... Is it ever a sufficient, or rather, a better method to express myself? You see, it's a daily routine for me to publish a post & a track that precisely reflects my mood, and I'm starting to wonder if there'll be a day where I'll run out of songs to upload, which won't happen (obviously). Yes, I do have a beautiful song to share.. A song I that I've came across in my flashdrive last night. Here's Yue Lao by Andy Lau. I'm off to bed.

-MXV-

Pure

Anyone here tried visiting Genting with only RM 20 in his/her wallet/purse? I did, & I survived on that. Spent a big part of it on a cup of Java Chip Frappucino at Starbucks, grandé, & that fuelled me all day. Heh.. Well actually, Seng Lung & Chloe were nice enough to buy me lunch, many thanks to them. Toll? James' TouchNGo. Hahahaha. Thanks ya'll.

Erhh, not as many pictures as I've expected. Don't know why, shy factor perhaps? xD My camera sucks, I know.. T_T Anyway, I took a few pics of the tripmeter in my car.. Hit the 10k KMs mark today. 5 months, 10k KMs.. Not bad, considering that about 3-4k KMs aren't done by me but by my parents.

Nice number.. Hmm..

After coming back from Genting. o.O

View from the garden behind Theme Park Hotel.

And the rest of the pictures are in Seng Lung, James & Tze Yang's phones. They're not online while I'm editing this post, probably none of them reached home yet. Hmm..

When I sent my CPU to Asashi to upgrade my HDD last night, I was told that the power supply box in my CPU might break down anytime soon as I'm running too many high end hardwares on it. Or in other words, I'll have to replace my cheap power supply box in order to support my hard drives & stuffs. That'll cost a lot, but I think it'll have to wait coz' I'm broke again. xD Nah, let's just wait till it breaks down. =D

I was told that my graphics card & HDDs are the largest energy-consuming parts in my CPU. Graphics card, I understand.. But HDDs? Doesn't make sense to me.. Hmm.. Maybe I'll change the box the next time I decide to add another HDD. Hehe. Preferably 500 or 750 GB ones. xD

P.S.: Chloe!!! Stop EMO-ing!!! Zzz.. It'll be fine, let it FLOW!!!

It's been about two weeks I hadn't uploaded any Japanese songs, & I have something nice to share today. To all the JRock fans out there, here's Pure, by Exile. Hahaha.. Enjoy, while I try to rejuvenate my mood & pull myself out of this emo whirlpool. Zzz...

-MXV-

Next Contestant

Finally, I've upgraded my PC. I planned to change only the fan since it is spoilt, but decided to add another 320GB SATA HDD to my CPU. Seriously, there's not enough space for all the songs in my PC. So I digged, & digged, & digged, and managed to fork out RM 249 for the fans (replaced the spoilt fan & added 1 more to allow better CPU cooling), HDD & wirings. More downloads on the way in my mission to flood the new drive with songs. Mwahahah..

Carried out a plan with Tze Yang, Seng Lung, James & Chloe today; WE are going to Genting tomorrow. Hahahaha. Hopefully everything goes well, & we'll surely be snapping pics around. Loads of them, which I assure you will be uploaded & shared here in the post for tomorrow. It's gonna be fun, if everything goes right.

Did something lame last night; compiled a few techno songs into one. Err, yeah.. It was out of boredom & emoness. LoL. Was too lazy & tired to play around with the remixing program, so I simply compiled them using the common fade in-out end to end method. Robert Miles, Darren Styles, DaRude, Tiesto, Paul Van Dyk & Ayla made the DJ list. Here's my personal ClubCompile, available for download only in MX-Lair. Hehe.. Click the highlighted wordlink below to stream, or right click >> Save Target As to download.

ClubCompile (39.1 MB, Length : 21 mins 24 secs.)

That serves as a bonus for ya'll, and here's the song for today, Next Contestant, by Nickelback. Is that your hand on my girlfriend? =) Enjoy.

-MXV-

痴心绝对

I guess it is always easier for me to help people with their relationship problems rather than solving my own. Yeah, I've been helping many people with their problems, but I don't seem to be able to fix things myself. Haha, weird.. Maybe I have the potential to be a relationship counsellor, or Dr. Hitch. LoL.

I skipped 2 lecture classes today. The heartache is killing me, I can't sit there having her in my sight. So I went for the tutorial classes instead, where I don't have to. I know, I don't have to skip classes just because of her, but what's the point going if I can't pay any attention to what the lecturers are teaching? Might as well get out of the class & study in my car, which I did, but for only about 1/2 an hour before feeling really hungry & going for lunch at B.R.J..

As promised, here's an emo song dedicated to the emo Chloe. LoL. C'mon, you can't be emo right now!! No problem if I'm emo, but not you!! Ya' know, many things can still be done to save this whole thing from going down all the way, if you get what I mean. Don't have to be so upset about it, things will be better soon. You'll see. Lyrics below, that's if you can read chinese. xD I'll put in the pinyin version as well.. Just for you folks to sing along even though you can't read simplified chinese. Hehe.. See how kind & nice of me to prepare all this?? =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

想用一杯latte把你灌醉
Xiang yong yi bei Latte ba ni guan zui

好让你能多爱我一点
Hao rang ni neng duo ai wo yi dian

暗恋的滋味你不懂这种感觉
An lian de zi wei ni bu dong zhe chong gan jue

早有人陪的你永远不会
Zao you ren pei de ni yong yuan bu hui

看见你和他在我面前
Kan jian ni he ta zai wo mian qian

证明我的爱只是愚昧
Zheng ming wo de ai zhi shi yu mei

你不懂我的那些憔悴
Ni bu dong wo de na xie qiao cui

是你永远不曾过的体会
Shi ni yong yuan bu ceng guo de ti hui

为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
Wei ni fu chu na chong shang xin ni yong yuan bu liao jie

我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
Wo you he ku mian qiang zi ji ai shang ni de yi qie

你又狠狠逼退我的防备
Ni you hen hen bi tui wo de fang bei

静静关上门来默数我的泪
Jing jing guan shang men lai mo shu wo de lei

明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
Ming zhi dao rang ni li kai ta de shi jie bu ke neng hui

我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
Wo hai sha sha deng dao qi ji chu xian de na yi tian

直到那一天你会发现
Zhi dao na yi tian ni hui fa xian

真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
Zhen zhen ai ni de ren du zi shou zhe shang bei

曾经我以为我自己会后悔
Ceng jing wo yi wei wo zi ji hui hou hui

不想爱得太多痴心绝对
Bu xiang ai de tai duo chi xin jue dui

为你落第一滴泪
Wei ni luo di yi di lei

为你作任何改变
Wei ni zuo ren he gai bian

也唤不回你对我的坚决
Ye huan bu hui ni dui wo de jie jue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, actually someone requested for this song & lyrics earlier. And miraculously, in my techno-saturated PC, I found it & listened to it, & got all emo-ed up after that. Haha.. Just listen to the song & concentrate on the lyrics, alrite? 痴心绝对 [ Chi Xin Jie Dui ], by 李圣杰 [ Li Sheng Jie ]. Enjoy. =)

-MXV-

I'm So In Love With You

Alright.. Here I am, blogging again..

Sundays are unusually boring and non-enjoyable for me if I stay at home. No no no, I'm telling the truth. I'm one of those nightprowlers that can't stay at home, especially during night time & I tend to find something to do, anything anywhere, but not at home. So I went B.R.J. for dinner just now, before going to tBun with Chan & Rashan for DotA. First game was absolute ownage, non of us actually died 45 minutes into the game. After the score hits 49 - 0, Rashan did something really stupid. Out of greediness, he went straight into enemies' base to kill enemy heroes, but got killed by the fire bush instead, and we lost our perfect ownage streak. End game score was 58 - 3, two done by Rashan, one by me. Heh.

Now I know why I'm always against pirated stuffs. I saw a DVD stall in front of B.R.J., and decided to buy Money No Enough 2 for my mom as she's craving for it, wanting to watch it so badly. I even asked the person whether the DVD is Money No Enough 2 or 1, and he told me it is Money No Enough 2. Turns out that it is Money No Enough 1 after I reached home & tested the DVD. Yes, CHEATED!! I'll wait for the original DVD after this, it'll be about another week or two before the original VCD/DVD is released. So guys, please do learn from my experience that I'm sharing with ya'll. This is the 2nd time I bought a pirated DVD, though. I had a bad feeling when I was buying it, but I don't know why I still paid for it. Lesson learned. FxxK pirated stuffs!!

"Dear, look at what song I'm listening at.."
"What? Haha yea rite~"
"Hehe.. True wat.. I'm so in love with you.."
"Yea yea~"

Taken from a MSN conversation, more than a year ago. I guess you guys should know whose conversation is this.. I'm So In Love With You, by Basshunter. I'm still, and always will...

-MXV-

Careless Whisper

"I think I should concentrate on my studies first."

Ya' know, that is one of the lamest excuses I've ever heard, whether to avoid getting into a relationship, to reject someone, or simply too confused to decide. No offense, but that's what I think. Too sick & tired of people saying that, trying to avoid the truth & the realm of reality. It is then after a period of time that they will realise they lose something big in their life, & regret it afterwards. Reject directly if that's what you want. Giving excuses is equivalent to giving hope to the one that admires you, and it's no better than being together with that person & then dumping him/her afterwards.

I often get excited when it comes to computer stuffs, and paranoid whenever there is a small problem with my CPU. I told my maid over thousands of times not to lay a finger on my PC, but she doesn't wanna listen to me. Finally, my CPU crashed today when I tried to turn it on, and I immediately knew who to blame. I was worried when I remembered about the 14,000++ MP3 files I have in my D: drive; I'll risk losing all of them if my hard disk got corrupted. So I removed the CPU cover, & started looking for the hopefully faulty hardware. Because if it is something to do with the software, I'll have no choice but to reformat the hard disk, and it'll surely be annoying as hell to reformat without the appropriate drivers for all the hardwares. I suppose ya'll still remember how my mom brilliantly dumped a whole box of PC stuffs about a month ago, and unrecoverable since. Swapped the RAM positions, hoping that a corrupted RAM might be the culprit. Nope. Instead, there's a switch under my graphics card. A switch that caused all the troubles. Pointing at Low-Def, I switched it to Hi-Def and my PC started up as usual. I still don't see what a switch on a graphics card can do to the startup of the CPU, but at least the problem is solved for now. I will have to search for another hard disk to transfer all the important files & MP3s from the main disk, so that I won't have to worry if my C: or D: drive got corrupted.

George Michael & Wham!, Careless Whisper. Ehh.. Old yet lovely song. Emo? Maybe. Lyrics below.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel so unsure,
As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor.
As the music dies...
Something in your eyes,
Calls to mind a silver screen,
And all those sad goodbyes.

Im never gonna dance again,
Guilty feet have got no rhythm.
Though its easy to pretend,
I know you're not a fool.

I should have known better than to cheat a friend,
And waste the chance that Id been given.
So Im never gonna dance again,
The way I danced with you.

Time can never mend,
The careless whispers of a good friend.
To the heart and mind,
Ignorance is kind...
There's no comfort in the truth,
Pain is all you'll find.

Im never gonna dance again,
Guilty feet have got no rhythm.
Though its easy to pretend,
I know you're not a fool.

I should have known better than to cheat a friend,
And waste the chance that Id been given.
So Im never gonna dance again,
The way I danced with you.

What am I without your love?

Tonite the music seems so loud,
I wish that we could lose this crowd.
Maybe its better this way,
Wed hurt each other with the things we want to say.

We could have been so good together,
We could have made this last forever...
But now, whos gonna dance with me?
Please stay.

And Im never gonna dance again,
Guilty feet have got no rhythm.
Though its easy to pretend,
I know youre not a fool.

I should have no better than to cheat a friend,
And waste the chance that Id been given.
So Im never gonna dance again,
The way I danced with you.

Now that you're gone...
Now that you're gone...
Now that you're gone...
Was what I did so wrong?
So wrong that you had to leave me alone?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of my all-time favourite emo song.. Enjoy~

-MXV-

It's A Beautiful Life

As usual, I can't live without going out. LoL. Went Pavilion after class, the traffic was quite congested to the level where I can study and drive at the same time. Haha. Not as bad as the jam I faced when I was heading home, though. Anyway, watched You Don't Mess With The Zohan today.

Another movie with absurd, obscene jokes, just like The Love Guru. Except, well, of course, less logic more laughters. But, I suggest that those who are looking forward to watch this show to wait for the original VCD / DVD. The Malaysian Board of Censorships censored & cut a few scenes in the movie, which are supposed to be the funniest. How do I know this? Well.. I kinda 'took a glance' at the pirated DVD playing at LowYatt yesterday, and I noticed that all the best parts of the movie are missing when I watched the cinema version. So if you can't hold back your eagerness to catch Zohan, then go for the pirated DVD, although I'm against it.. xD Quality won't be as good as original for sure. A fabulous movie to watch you're stressed out. 4 stars.

Old song for today.. Something commonly heard back in the 90s. It's a Beautiful Life, by Ace of Base. Old songs are the best..

-MXV-

Ain't Too Proud To Beg

I felt so sick when I was driving back from LowYatt today; pulses of headache, dizzyness & that uneasy feeling of vomitting. Signs of low blood pressure? Should have just listened to Melvin's father to keep some sweets in my car, in case my blood pressure go too low they'll help. It was dangerous as I couldn't concentrate while driving, and being sick + driving is the worst thing a driver could possibly do on Malaysian roads. Why? Because there are potholes here and there, and some impatient drivers whose aim is to get you into an accident with them. Seriously. Just because they are fasting doesn't mean that they should drive irresponsibly. Not that I'm racist, but most of these drivers are Malays, and the lady drivers converted the roads into a living hell. Did the fasting really took out that much from them?

Went LowYatt for what? Hmm.. I was planning to get myself a new internal hard disk, preferably 500GB or 750GB. Prices are interesting, of course.. RM300++ for 500GB, RM500++ for 750GB. 16GB flashdrive for RM249. And a set of Altec Lansing speakers and subwoofer that caught my attention; RM 569. Everything looked so appealing to me, but no cash.. Sigh..

Ah well, not taking much of my readers' time. Here's Ain't Too Proud To Beg, by The Temptations. Requested by Malcolm, again. LoL. I agree with what he said. Good songs or talents aren't recognized until something really happen to them. Nobody actually appreciate & remember good ol' songs like this anymore. So what I'm gonna do is, I'll upload more old rock songs up here in the coming posts, just to revive and bring back memories.

-MXV-

Children

Yet another day to blog about.

Went college at around 10:30 A.M. today, the guard was nice enough to let me drive into the college without the college sticker. Went straight to the Pre-U office to submit the bank draft for the registration of A2 examinations.

Reached home, slept at 2 P.M., woke up at 8:30 in the evening. Yeah, something's wrong with my sleeping time. Feeling so tired in the afternoon yet so energetic at night.

Another friend of mine broke up with his girl. Sigh.. Good luck, boy. You'll need it. Feel free to join the emo-master here if you need to.

Let it be short and simple for today, alrite? Children [Dream Version], by Robert Miles. I missed out this song for quite a few times, forgot to upload & share it with ya'll here. It's finally here, great dreamy techno tunes from the famous dream-DJ, Robert Miles. This song made him famous, anyway.

-MXV-

With Or Without You

It's been about 9 months since grandpa left us. The old, cheerful yet fragile grandpa that always tried to put up a smile on his face whenever he sees us; his grandchildren, sons & daughter. It's been hard on him, he's very healthy all the while but the asthma attacks were taking his life away slowly, fine, tiny little fragments at a time. The last time I saw him, he was lying there on the bed, breathing through an oxygen mask barely able to talk and move as he was simply too weak.

Chinese New Year in 2007. I still remember every single word my grandpa said when he handed me the angpao for that year;

"Ah Min Xen ah.. Lai ah gong give you angpao for this year.."

"Ehh? But I thought ah ma already gave me? She gave me your part also leh. She said scared you forget wor."

"Oh? Ya ah..? Aiya nevermind la.. Take only la.. One more angpao, one more blessing ma.."

"Aiyo don't want la ah gong, you keep for the others la.."

"Just take la.. Ah gong so old liao, this year take one extra, don't know next year can still give you or not.."

"...."

I didn't know what to say after that. He placed the red packet in my hand, and smiled. True enough, he didn't even get the chance to see me one last time before leaving as I was in Singapore. I feel so ashamed whenever I think about it, it's the kind of humiliation that will scar you for life. As the eldest grandson in the Chew family, I was unable to be by his side when he was fighting for his life. I attended the funeral only on the 2nd night, before the burial on the following day. Troubled and confused of what's happening within and around me, I cried. I wasn't sure whether I was crying because of my grandpa's absence, or because of the break-up. It hurts, and it hurts a lot.

I stared at the coffin as the undertakers lowers my granpa into the grave cut. I watched the backfilling process, and there goes my 86-year-old friend, guardian and loving grandpa, back reuniting with God. Hopefully he found a place in heaven as he really deserves it. May God forgive all his sins. Rest in peace, ah gong.

I'm emotional today. Very emotional. I miss my grandpa, I miss her, I miss my grandma. In fact, I miss everything I've lost between 2007 & 2008. I felt a need to express myself, and so I chose to blog about it since most probably there wouldn't be anyone that'll listen to me and my stories. Posting them here, allowing volunteers to read it themselves and comment on them. I figured out that blogging might as well be the only medium to connect me and the real world, although everything here is just data, data and more data. At least I know that someone is reading this right now, and I gratefully thank you for spending your precious time listening to my woes.

Went Pavilion for The Love Guru today, hoping that some comedies will help lift the burden off me, at least by a pinch. It didn't actually worked, the emo-ness is still in me, but at least I had some time to myself & the laughters cleared everything in my mind for a short while. I'm THAT desperate to get myself out of this self-harming position.


My mood might not be as stable as usual, but my judgements are unaffected. So fret not, here's a review from me. As good as it can get. Nice comedy show, good for individuals seeking for a good laugh. The jokes are absurd, dirty jokes by the guru such as : "If you will help Uncle Jack off an elephant, will you help uncle JACK OFF an elephant?" & "Bible, B-Basic I-Instructions B-Before L-Leaving E-Earth.". Jokes that you will never think of. Jessica Alba, hot as usual. Justin Timberlake looked kinda weird in that moustache. Heh. You'll find the show excessively hillarious, if you're fast at catching obscene witticism. High rating for this movie, 4.6 out of 5. One of the best comedies I've ever watched.

Depressed, I am. I need to get out of this mischief, this slough of Despond, which may be hard to achieve. But I believe nothing is impossible. Whatever it takes to return me to my cheerful self, I'll try. But before I go & leave ya'll with the song of the day, I have a couple of questions, feedbacks welcomed, MSN or comments.

Is it really that hard to feel what others feel about you?

Can you pretend as if you don't care when someone actually voiced their concerns about you?

Are you able to keep an eye shut after all the showerings of love by someone who is willing to give up his or her life for you?

With Or Without You, by U2.

-MXV-

Love Is Only A Feeling

Another day passed, the same thing happened again. I went to bed this morning at around 7:30 A.M., and woke up at 11:30 A.M. to give my cousin a call. Yeah, he just came back from Spain, and will be leaving for Singapore tonight, and then to China this coming Sunday. Sigh.. It's sad I didn't get the chance to meet him, as I haven't seen him for about a year or so already.

After that call, I went back to sleep until 6:30 P.M. in the evening, and woke up only after my maid repeatedly knocked on the door. Nice dinner, roti canai with rendang, fried noodles, spicy lala soup. Satisfying. LoL. Still feeling a lil' hungry though... xD Maybe I'll go for a supper later.. Anybody wanna join?

Biology Paper 1 & 4 tomorrow, and after that it'll be the end of my trials. I have confidence in Paper 1, but not Paper 4. Studying hard for A2 syllabuses. I wonder if the myth method of burning all the books, mixing the ashes with warm water before drinking would work? I don't mind trying if it's proven to work. Hahaha..

Lyrics again, together with the featured song of the day..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first flush of youth was upon you when our eyes first met
And I knew that to you and into your life I had to get
I felt light-headed at the touch of this stranger's hand
An assault my defenses systematically fail to withstand

'Cause you came at a time
When the pursuit of one true love in which to fall
Was the be-all and end-all
Love is only a feeling
Drifting away
When I'm in your arms I start believing
It's here to stay
But love is only a feeling
Anyway

Oh, the state of elation that this unison of hearts achieved
I had seen, I had touched, I had tasted and I truly believed

That the light of my life
Would tear a hole right through each cloud that scudded by
Just to beam on you and I

Love is only a feeling
Drifting away
When I'm in your arms I start believing
It's here to stay
But love is only a feeling
Anyway, anyway

Love is only a feeling
Drifting away
And we've got to stop ourselves believing
It's here to stay
'Cause love is only a feeling
Anyway

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love Is Only A Feeling, by The Darkness. Too bad the band splitted up after the departure of Justin Hawkins, the lead vocalist of the band.. Sigh.. The remaining bandmembers are now established under the name Stone Gods. Hmm.. This song is dubbed to be one of the best ever produced by The Darkness, and I kinda agree on that. Love this song. Hope ya'll enjoy it as well.

-MXV-