Stranger In Moscow

Alright.. Reached Moscow, finally. Things are a bit hectic the moment I set foot on the Russian land, with all the immigration & luggage problems. Travelling with heavy luggages around definitely posed a challenge for me.About 70 KGs of luggages in total, with the largest luggage weighing about 40 KGs, 10 KGs in my backpack, about 13 KGs or so in my laptop bag & the rest in a sling pouch.

Day 1

Reached Dubai International Airport at 5:30 A.M. local time, which is 9:30 A.M. Malaysian time. Waited for the next flight at 9:35 A.M., which means I had 4 hours of free time doing nothing, strolling & loitering around the departure point. Yeah, it's boring. Went online & chatted with some of my mates, some friends I made on the flight which I will be seeing very often. Well, what can I say? Dubai, as a land of the wealthy & of pure-bred sports cars, is truly mesmerizing (although a bit hot). The moment we got out of the arrival point, we were greeted by a Lamborghini Gallardo & a Bentley Continental, both parked IN the airport, right in the middle of the duty-free complex. Of course they were impressive & beautiful..

Plane left at 9:43 A.M., delayed by a few minutes due to some late-boarding passengers.

After hours of torturous & painful flight later, we arrived at Moscow Domodedovo Airport at about 3 P.M. local time. No doubt the two flight journeys, from KLIA to Dubai, from Dubai to Moscow were two of the worst, most uncomfortable flying experience that I've ever had in my entire life. The seat layout is designed to maximise the use of every square milimetres of space available, so the size of the seats are comparable to the one found in a 44-seater bus.

Reached my hostel at Konkova at 4:30 P.M., waited till 8 P.M. for them to finally sort out everything & assign me into a room. Yeah, I was sharing my room with 3 roommates, 2 guinea pigs & a dog. No, I'm not kidding about the guinea pigs & dog. The whole room smelled of dog urine & the dog poops around. I complained & got switched into a better room, but with no bed or mattress. Called it a day, slept on the floor.


Day 2

Another busy day. We were brought to the university for some registration to be made at the Foreign Students' Department. It was then I realised that most of the Russians here couldn't speak or understand English. Not the slightest bit. I don't speak fluent Russian either, so it's rather fucked up. Communication problems, yea.

Still feeling a bit unwell from the rush that I had on the day before. Started shopping for food, cooking utensils & all. Cooked quite a sumptuous meal that night, together with Ethan.

Day 5

Sorry, had to skip a few boring days cos I've been doing literally nothing. Anyway, we were brought to shop at Ikea & Mega, a shopping mall much like The Curve & Ikea back in Malaysia. Strolling through the Tesco of furnitures, I found myself standing in front of a bunk bed. Bed on top, table & bookrack below. Sounds & looks good to me, but a bit pricey as it costs nearly 10000 roubles. Pricey, for a student as that converts to about RM 1000+. Still, it's quite an investment in the long run. Saves space. Out of stock, had to wait for roughly a month, so I'm STILL sleeping on the floor. Nah, not that bad. Bought my mattress.

I guess that's all you guys should know about the first few days of my life here in Moscow.

I'm getting into the second week, and things start to get a little bit messy as my university life starts. 9 A.M. to 5 P.M. almost every day except on Monday & Wednesday, where my classes start at 12 P.M. & 10:30 P.M. respectively. I've even experienced being too tired to cook after class that I just don't care, neglected my dinner altogether.


I wonder... How's everyone doing back in Malaysia...? Friends.. Family.. Parents.. Everyone.. And especially you..

Weather forecast for Friday, 2nd of October 2009 : Cloudy, 8°C max, 2°C min. Yes, it's getting very cold here, and the strong wind is worsening the condition..

Anyway..

It's been almost two weeks since I left Malaysia.. How are you? I've been missing you a lot, & your absence is greatly felt.. I can't say that I'm getting used & starting to accept the fact that you're far, far away from me, because it's never okay for me to not have you by my side..

It's our anniversary today. Yet I do not have you right here, right now with me.. Neither would I be hearing, listening to your voice as the clock strucks at precisely 12 A.M... You are angry with me, for I've said some things that have hurt & neglected your feelings.. I'm sorry.. Please forgive me, I did not mean to say what I said, or do what I did..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Through the days I've missed you,
Spent my nights dreaming of you.
Words said are promises made,
6 years shall never be too late,
For each other we shall wait.

You shall always remain the special one,
Replacing you in my heart will be no one.
Thousands of miles seperates us apart,
But nothing shall seperate our heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your love for me will be the fuel of my journey to be a succesful person, but my love for you is everything that defines me as a person..

I know that things didn't start off as wonderful as some other lovers, but I can assure you that I'll work hard to earn what should be a perfect life & a perfect ending for us. This is what I will swear & hold on to, in return for ur willingness to wait for me.

My parents saw you. My cousins saw you. My aunt saw you. And they've all approved your presence in my life. At first, everything was in the right direction, on the right path. But it seems that there are still some unresolved issues that are time-consuming. It sound complicated, but I'm taking this as another challenge to our relationship. A strong & loving bond doesn't come from the heart itself; it comes from the effort & patience of both loving souls.

Happy Anniversary, my dear. This, is my love story. Our story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was wandering in the rain
Mask of life, feelin' insane
Swift and sudden fall from grace
Sunny days seem far away
Kremlin's shadow belittlin' me
Stalin's tomb won't let me be
On and on and on it came
Wish the rain would just let me

How does it feel (How does it feel)
How does it feel
How does it feel
When you're alone
And you're cold inside

Here abandoned in my fame
Armageddon of the brain
KGB was doggin' me
Take my name and just let me be
Then a beggar boy called my name
Happy days will drown the pain
On and on and on it came
And again, and again, and again...
Take my name and just let me be

How does it feel (How does it feel)
How does it feel
How does it feel
How does it feel
How does it feel (How does it feel now)
How does it feel
How does it feel
When you're alone
And you're cold inside

How does it feel (How does it feel)
How does it feel
How does it feel
How does it feel
How does it feel (How does it feel now)
How does it feel
How does it feel
When you're alone
And you're cold inside

Like stranger in Moscow
Lord have mercy
Like stranger in Moscow
Lord have mercy
We're talkin' danger
We're talkin' danger, baby
Like stranger in Moscow
We're talkin' danger
We're talkin' danger, baby
Like stranger in Moscow
I'm livin' lonely
I'm livin' lonely, baby
Stranger in Moscow

[KGB interrogator - Russian to English Translation]
"Why have you come from the West?
Confess! To steal the great achievments of
the people, the accomplishments of the workers..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stranger In Moscow - Michael Jackson.

-MXV-

I Don't Wanna Stop

The farewell party went pretty well last week, although some of my friends disappointed me badly when they stood me up & broke their promises to attend our last gathering before I leave to Moscow. You know who you are. I'm still pretty much shocked when I see the number of friends that attended; 30 of us in a VIP room in California Pizza Kitchen. That's the biggest gathering that I've organized in these 2 decades of my life.

Anyway, the actual & official departure date has been released; I'll be leaving on the 21st of September, 2 A.M.. Kinda abrupt, eh? 5 more days.. 5 more days & I'll be leaving the country for about 6 years.. Well, of course I'll be back here in KL every once a year or so, but..

The feeling, it's just different. To be away from my family, to be away from my country & friends.. To be away from my lover, especially.. Yes, I have a lover. I admitted that to my mom last night. What I was fore-telling about the consequences of telling her was lashes, espresso-style awakening shots of anger & scoldings. I did not at all expected that she'll be so calm & cool about it, asking me all sorts of questions about her. That's something new, knowing my mom's temper, attitude, mentality & personality, this is the first time she actually reacted that way. Good or bad? I don't know..

I'm already missing her right now. What should I do during the entire 6 years of my course over there? Life will definitely be boring & lonely for me, no doubt.. But what I'm hoping & wishing now is to have her love, our love, to fire & fuel me through this long ordeal. I'll work hard so that I'll be able to provide her a better future.

Or can I?

There're not many people who actually know about the story of my love-life. This relationship had been going on for many, many months, very secretively.. A few who know are close friends of mine, and of course, I will never ever reveal their names. But seriously, this whole thing went on for too long, too much unnecessary time spent on dragging & delaying it. I shall confess & admit everything very soon. Love, is simply too complicated. Perhaps after revealing my story, I'll be portrayed as an antagonist in everyone's mind. But I don't care. I know I have to take the risk. I don't wanna stop right here.

So if there are any mistakes that I've said or done, please forgive me, for I'm not perfect. Friends & family members, they last as long as i appreciate them. Forgive me for all that I've done. I seek forgiveness from my parents, relatives, friends, teachers & lecturers, & anyone that I've offended or treated harshly in the past. I'm sorry.

I'm feeling numb. I feel lost. What should I do? 5 more days.. Many things will definitely happen in these 5 days.. Important things.. Memorable things..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey there I hope everything's all right
I forgot to call you in the wintertime
Like the wave crash coming back
I've got feelings pouring down against this healing
While you try to trace which side I'm on

When the wind blows between us
High above this empty feeling
I don't wanna stop
I don't wanna stop
When the waves crash beneath us
Down below this empty feeling
I don't wanna stop
I don't wanna stop

Can we dance like everything's all right
Can we trade the day in for the night
Like a homesick tournament
I'm not breathing till I leave with you believing
I don't want to trace another song

When the wind blows between us
High above this empty feeling
I don't wanna stop
I don't wanna stop
When the waves crash beneath us
Down below this empty feeling
I don't wanna stop
I don't wanna stop

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Don't Wanna Stop - ATB.

-MXV-

I Wanna Be With You

First of all..

Heheh, just something that Chan made the other day when we were having breakfast at Red Island. Sweet.

Went Seremban with my bunch of friends on Friday, what a trip. Left K.L. early in the morning, reached there at 7.30 A.M.. The main purpose of that trip was to visit Kati & escort him back to K.L.. Erm, yeah, escort. Sounds weird, eh? Went for a breakfast at a mamak stall, then we drove to the beach. Yeap, Port Dickson.

Hmm.. Morning view?

Random~

Random~

Hmm..

There's this mood, this atmosphere about going to the beach early in the morning that I love about..

Trust me, they're brothers.

Petronas pipelines? Who cares.. That's Kati, Adrian & John On in the background, by the way.

As emo as it's master.

We went Malacca after that, to Jonker's Street.. Yeap, the food haven for Singaporeans. It's not surprising to see so many tourists there on a Friday. Hmm..

Don't mind me jumping between topics, here's a pic & video on Papi the puppy, just to update my blog readers on the mischevious little brat.

Hmm...

Papi the puppy playing & biting my socks.

Uhh... Rather emotional now.. Any reasons? Maybe.. Plenty of reasons, but they all lead to the same thing. What should I do? What must I do? What can I do? I don't know.. Papi, are you hearing me out...? In my life, it seems that love is the only thing that depresses & makes me emotional. I know I've said this millions of times before, but yeah, I'm tired of my life. I'm tired of being depressed. I wanna break free. I wanna feel that breeze in my face once again. Is it possible? I hope so. I think it's possible. But I don't think I will ever achieve it. Oh well..

Alrite, cut the crap. I'm getting straight to the point. You know that feeling, that familiar feeling of knowing that something is going on behind you, but yet you're forced to keep an eye shut, say nothing, act like a fool & pretend as if nothing happened? That is exactly how I feel right now.

I'm not happy.

I Wanna Be With You - Mandy Moore.

-MXV-