If You're Not The One

11th August, 2008.. A day filled with much sadness & sorrow for me. Let me briefly explain what happened throughout the whole day.

Woke up in the morning, accidentally skipped Biology tutorial class. So I took my sweet time showering & preparing myself as Pure Maths lecture is cancelled. Went downstairs to my PC room, the first thing I did was opening http://myresults.cie.org.uk/ to check my AS-level exam results. As expected, it was PATHETIC!! I will definitely have to resit for the subjects again.

I was quite pissed off with something; friends that SMSes me to ask for my results. Trying to show your concern? Or simply love to compare between them and me? Everytime I send them a SMS, they will reply me late, or simply don't reply at all. Even it was my birthday, I don't hear any birthday wishes from them. They won't even bother to say hi when they see me, and now they come asking me for my results. Fuck off, I will never reveal my results to 'friends' like you.

Replaced the brake discs on my car today. Have I told ya'll about the incident during my birthday, the once where my car went out of control a little when I hit the brakes? It was caused by the uneven surface of my disc brakes, and today it just got worse. I was driving at 50-60 KM/H when I stepped on my brake pedal to slow down. Then, something scary happened; the car swerved left & right dangerously. Even though I've held the steering wheel firmly, the changes in direction of the front wheels transfers & forced the steering wheel to move in the same direction as the wheels. Luckily there were no cars around at that time, I was able to regain control & drove slowly, not exceeding 40 KM/H to the nearest tyre shop to replace the brake discs. If I were to wait for Perodua to replace them, I will most probably die in an accident on the way to the service centre. One freaking month to wait for two pieces of brake discs. My life is precious & priceless, I rather pay RM 240 for a new pair of brake discs than to wait for Perodua to do the job.

Taken while replacing the brake disc, notice the rust on the original disc on the floor.

New brake disc.

Will be installing a new set of 15 inch sport rims tomorrow, simply couldn't resist the offer that the guy at the tyre shop offered. RM 600 trade in value for my set of rims, which is quite high. I'll upload photos of my new set of wheels tomorrow.

If ya'll recalled, I've said something about the eleventh of August on one of the previous posts. What was it? Well.. Yeah, if Janice & I are still together, it would be our first anniversary today.. One year ago on this very date, we went official & public about our relationship. Sadly, it was a short lived romance... I still remember everything, from how we first met, & then got into a three-way struggle with Sylvester until the break-up. Sigh.. Why didn't I just let the both of them together? They'll look much sweeter & better together, & I will most probably never go through the pain I'm currently experiencing. I feel bad for what I've done, ruining everything for them. So ya'll see the reason why I'm being extremely emotional today? I tried, and I tried my best, to forgive myself & forget everything. But the shower of fine, tiny little fragments of memories with her on my poor soul just makes me feel moody. They will remain as a permanent scar that fades away along with my life.

Two weeks before the trials for A2 examinations, and I'm determined to study as hard as possible to score. I've been slacking too much & it's time for me to attempt changing myself. I will try my best to score well for every single paper that I'm taking. Can't afford to let myself laze around anymore, no matter how sucky & tiring my life is.

Imeem has been down for 2 days, I wonder what happened to it? I couldn't enter the site & do my daily uploads. Maybe I'll try again tonight. Here are the lyrics for the song today, to go along with my emoness and sadness.

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If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms...............?

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Daniel Bedingfield's If You're Not The One rhymes and repeats itself in my ears today. Letting it out & sharing it with ya'll.

-MXV-