MXV's Jukebox

Friday, September 19, 2008

If You're Gone

Alright, I'm going to ask this question again. Why do I always have to be the one tolerating other people? Something happened, and Chan was sorta scolding me for something which I didn't do. I replied in an angry tone, and the next thing I know, everyone is saying that it's my fault to raise my voice at him. What the hell is this? I'm already having a bad mood swing on that day, with everyone unconsciously pissing me off, and they didn't seem to bother that. Oh, so I'll have to be the one to apologize to him now? I don't mind apologizing and forgiving, but can you have at least some respect for me, and view things from my perspective? I know it's my fault, my wrong to raise my voice at Chan, but why must he scold me without finding out the truth first? This is not the first time it happened, and I doubt it'll be the last. If you want people to respect you and your feelings, why don't you do the same first? I was pretty pissed off that Adrian & Rashan are standing by his side, but I'm trying my best not to involve them. It's just something small and stupid which shouldn't be spoiling our friendship, and if apologizing is what it takes to save it, then I'm sorry. But if it is egoism in yourself that you can't seem to get rid of, then I'll take back my apology. What's the point if you're not gonna learn?

Forget that, spoils my mood. It's funny to know the fact that this world is so big, yet so small. That phrase will keep ya'll wondering what I'm trying to say, but one person will get it right without any effort. Haha.. You know who you are. Now, I've got this guy friend that went on a blind date with the sister of another girl friend of mine. LoL. And he was telling me about how hot my friend is. I think I've mentioned her name in a few earlier posts; she's the one studying in Genting College. Yeap, Elizabeth. Hot? Yeah.. Sort of.. Hahaha. I was just listening to him, feeling sleepy till he sent me a Facebook link, which I inadvertently (uhh, it's not on purpose, I SWEAR!!) clicked. Then, I had a shock of my life when I saw Elizabeth's photo, just below her profile name. I burst out laughing, for I'm totally not expecting that, AT ALL!!

A hit around 2000-2002, If You're Gone by Matchbox Twenty. Used to listen to this all the time when I was in primary school. Beautiful song, indeed. Enjoy.

-MXV-

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your are trying your best not to get involved with me?

For what? Siding Chan? Why?

Cause you f*cking scold your friends in front of the whole TBUN2.You lost your temper at ALL of us.

why u lost your temper? Tbun dc la, luishern dont want swap la, you alt-tab and dc la.

I am not mad at you for that incident. I went out with you to cc the next day. cause we are friends ma. i know that day u bad mood so i let you cool off and i continue playing alone. lol.

But now I am f*cking angry that you make such a silly post on your blindness. No need get involved with me if you feel you are right.

You'll regret your action. Ciaoz.

MXV said...

Just because I'm scolding Vincent with you sitting beside me doesn't mean that I'm scolding you as well. True, it's my bad to scold the others, and I apologize for what I've said. But do you really think those are the only reason why I've lost my temper? Dude, it's not the game, it's not tBun or anything. My life has got more than just games to deal with. If you're angry with me, I see the point. I approved your comment here because I see the reason why you're angry with all my doings.

I appreciate your effort to try to shine light on my blindness, my friend. But if you ever heard about this; Never fight fire with fire. I'm pretty sure that you've already seen my bad mood swings earlier while we were in tBun, and Chan did not see that happening and went on scolding me. And then he saw me explode, & was angry at me for that. And as I said, I am apologizing to Chan for that.

As for your case, try to re-read the post. I'm trying my best not to involve you & Rashan into what I'm already having with Chan, as I know it'll just make things worse. I admit I am pissed off with the fact that Rashan & you are siding him because I've been seeing things my way. If the rest of the people in this world can judge & see things their way, why can't I have my own opinion? The thing is, I'm sick of the ignorance Vincent gave when I was asking him to tell his bro to swap with me. And yet what do I get? He kept talking to Jole as if I'm transparent and unheard of. True, I shouldn't be angry about things like that but it is also all these small little things that infuriated me. I'm sure you know, everyone has their limits and I'm not spared.

If you think I'll regret my action, so be it. Everything is already clear enough and I don't think I'll have to clarify any further. My tolerance level is invisible to ya'll, and my apologies are something that ya'll wouldn't accept. As I've said, this whole thing is something small which shouldn't be breaking our friendship bonds. Do you need me to "kowtow" "Chum cha" for all that I've done? If that's the case then I wouldn't mind making one less enemy & keeping an extra friend.

Nobody is right all the time. Not me, not you. In this case, you might be right and I might be wrong. And if you think another comment of hatred or anger will help make the situation better, you're very welcomed to do so. I am already openly apologizing to all of whom I've offended at tBun on that particular day, and if you're still not happy with that I wouldn't find any other alternatives to approach your forgiveness.

Do I need to rephrase what you yourself said? You, are not mad at me for the incident. And you, are angry at me that I made a silly post on my blindness. So you're indirectly saying that you're angry at me for being honest of what I feel & writing them here? Mind you I will not delete this post. This blog is an everyday place where I write about what happened and what I really feel. I need no one to tell me what to blog about as long as it's not against the blog's rules and regulations.

-MXV-