MXV's Jukebox

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Sweet Misery

Last night, I found myself tossing & turning on the bed, struggling to get a proper rest, a good night sleep. Then, I thought of all the good things I did to people. Sure I wasn't expecting anything in return whenever I do that, but God should be a bit more fair in deciding how others judge & treat me. I hate being treated as a joke, or giving bad first impressions. Yes, yet another emotional & depressive day for me.

You know, me & my emotional thoughts.. We were raised to one sentence that I'm sure is familiar to everyone. ' Be good to others, & others will be good to you. ' Now I'm doubting what my teachers & parents once taught me. I see all sorts of bad things happening to good people. Why is that so? Has God finally succumb to Devil's plans? Or did we get it wrong all this while? Should it be, ' Be bad to others, you will receive all the blessings & happiness a person can have. ' ?

I see no reason in continuing the post for today. Early post, just felt that I should go to sleep now & wake up to face another day full of misery. It's a mundane & I'm destined to live through it till the day I die.

Sweet Misery - DJ Tiesto.

-MXV-

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm also waiting for JUSTICE to reveal itself. Life has been never easy to me. The past 5 yrs have been nothing but shitty; parents got serious illnesses, own health deteriorated, hubby sued by parents' son - NO! he's fucking aint my bro anymore, hubby survived with just one meal a day coz funds were reserved for lawyer's fees & our wedding and now that a baby is on his way, pregnancy hasn't been smooth either. Many times i felt like giving up; wishing that i will have an incurable disease that wont require any money to treat but just die straight away or sometimes at night, i imagine myself jumping down the building.
So why am i still alive today? Being a pessimistic, i somehow found a tiny hope in knowing that there people who are worst off than me. At least, i have the chance to get pregnant although i worry if i could afford to support him. Other women try for ages to conceive. Although i'm kind of sick of teaching, i'm glad that i still have a job. Although my parents refer my hubby as 'that FELLOW' and i'm fuming mad abt it, my hubby doesnt know anything and there was no WWIII as yet.
I can see that u r always putting up a brave front or a happy face but deep down u hurt. It's ok to break down sometimes coz u r not a robot. Take comfort that u have a car to drive although it seems to be making u use a lot of money, that u still have ur parents by ur side although they r super busy, that among 10 frens at least 2 are sincere and that u will have a chance to further ur studies in medicine. :)