Deeply Disturbed

This post is going to be somewhat special & longer.

2:40 AM -

Was tossing and turning in my bed for almost an hour , couldn't get to sleep. Whenever I close my eyes , flashbacks of the memories we had together passes through frame by frame , like a movie being projected on a white screen. I am literally haunted by these memories. It seems like I still couldn't knock in the fact that she left me. The times that we had together , in Midvalley , Times Square , Sungei Wang , KLCC. Our first date , at Sungei Wang & Times Square. The first time I held her hand was at the escalator in Borders , Times Square. First kiss , Avenue K , 3rd Floor. First REAL kiss while watching the movie Disturbia , GSC Midvalley. I remember everything clearly. Every single detail of what happened.

3:34 AM -

Almost dozed off when a sudden pain struck my back. What was that? I sat up & felt fine , as if the pain was never there. I went downstairs for a glass of water , & here I am typing this. Checked uTorrent , cHéL's downloads are almost done. Heroes Season 2 , 3.76GB , progressing at 59kB/s , 97% done. I felt this urge to click on our blog , so I did. Reading back what I've previously posted on that blog & what she replied , tears rolled down my cheeks. Why is it so easy for her to let go of me , but so hard for me to do the same? I sat down & stared into the ceiling. White.

4:12 AM -

It's been almost 40 minutes I've been sitting here , in front of this dull square box. I've got this feeling my insomnia is back. Sometimes I do wonder , why can't I have a proper life like others? I have everything I need ; clothes , food , proper education , & most importantly , money. Sense the absence of love & happiness in the list? I'm born with a silver spoon in my mouth. At least my life is not that hard , everything comes easy for me. Worked hard to prove to the world that one day I will not need my parents' support anymore , & finally they will be able to enjoy their lives with their hard earned money. I'm kinda worried about my mom's health , she has been quite a workaholic lately. A glance at the PC's clock shows 4:15 AM , I guess I'd better hit the hay.

5:27 AM -

Spent another hour trying to sleep , but to no avail. Downloads are done by now , copying them into a DVD-RW before passing it to cHéL when I see her. Sometimes , I do wonder.. Why do I still be nice to people when they treat me badly? They often stood me up but I'm still always the punctual one & I keep my promises to them. No offence , cHéL.

5:33 AM -

Looked out from the window , day is becoming evident. Does anybody know that daybreak is my favourite time of the day? I love daybreaks.. Cool , fresh air.. Makes me feel like I'm born again. Also the time for the Muslims in my neighbourhood to go for their prayer at a mosque nearby.. If you haven't try it , trust me.. Nothing beats the feeling of inhaling clean air & listening to the dawn chorus , the sound of nature.. The peace of it.. Feels good.. Startled by the sound of my DVD drive ejecting the disc ; the DVD-RW is ready to go. Placed the disc back into it's cover before I spotted my AS Chemistry notes on the table. Took it & flipped through the pages , without realising that I was actually studying it. Before I knew it , it's 6:20 AM already. I'd better be prepared to go for my class at 8 AM later.

6.58 AM -

I was taking my shower when my handphone started to ring at 6.45AM. It was my alarm , I forgot to turn it off earlier. Accidentally woke my dad up with the irritating alarm tone. Sorry dad!! My maid prepared breakfast for me. Nice , a sandwich & a cup of coffee. Placing cHeL's disc into my bag. Should I bring the box of chocolates along? If she stood me up again this time , I'm sure she'd be eating , no , licking molten chocolates.

7:29 AM -

Went through my music folder & found a suitable song for today's post , previewed it. The school van came. Gotta go for an hour's lecture of Chemistry. I will update this post after my class , IF I'll be spending the next couple of hours at tBun.

10:24 AM -

Here in tBun with my friend , playing DotA. I was pretty fuxxored by the van driver , he picked me up at 7:50 AM but I ended up in front of college at 8:45 AM. What happened? Well , it seems that the van driver gives priority to those kids & send them to the kindergarten first rather than sending me to the college. Kim Seng joined us at about 11 AM , we went downstairs , had drinks & chatted to waste our time away.

2:57 PM -

Went back to tBun at 1 PM , & played 2 more games with Chan before he left for his class at 3 PM. I figured out she won't call / contact me in anyway , so I SMSed cHéL , she wouldn't have woke up if I didn't do so. Wasted like 5 hours in tBun , spending uber time playing DotA. She replied at 3:03 PM local time GMT + 8 , to be exact , & suggested that we go KLCC at 4 PM. Nah , not in the mood already. Felt like an idiot doing nothing the whole day but play DotA & having drinks with my friends. So I told her to meet me at tBun to pick her stuffs up.

5:16 PM -

She reached tBun at 4:12 PM , & called me on my handphone. Passed her stuffs to her , met Chan again when I'm leaving the cyber cafe. She was lucky enough ; I would certainly doubt her credibility if she didn't keep her promise. After watching cHéL left , Chan called me to go for a drink , again , at BRJ , & so we did. After that , I walked him back to Section 4 before taking a taxi at a bus stop there , heading home. Reached home at about 5:10 PM , went straight into my PC / study room & here I ended up , finishing this post here.

A pretty boring & no-life day , huh? My mind was deeply disturbed by something the whole day , not sure what is it. Am having Biology test tomorrow , not sure if I'll be able to study today.
-End Of Post-





You folks need no further instructions on this one. Log in to your imeem & enjoy this song hand-picked by me this morning. Deeply Disturbed (Infected Remix) , Infected Mushroom.

-MXV-