Like A G6

Well.. I don't actually know what to post here anymore.. Updates on my life? Very, very stressed out recently due to some life-changing decisions that I have to make.. Not sure which path should I take.. Anyway.. For those who are still following my blog loyally, I thank you.. Thanks to all, for your concern.. I'm fine, & blog will be updated pretty soon again.. Chill, enjoy the music..

Like A G6 - Far East Movement feat. The Cataracs & Dev.

-MX-

Big Sky

It feels like I'm wasting my life away... Slowly.. Very slowly..

I can't get all the motivation I need to start studying...

John O'Callaghan feat Audrey Gallagher - Big Sky (Acoustic Mix).

-MX-

Grounds For Divorce

For the past few days I can't seem to focus on anything else except for one question; how much does a friendship worth? Is it still a wise move to do all your best to keep a friend who might not appreciate what you've done? Maybe, but then you have to start questioning yourself as well; in this age & time, would everything still be worthy? I hate the answer to this, but let's face it. Friendship now doesn't hold the same meaning as it once did a decade ago or so.

Why am I saying this? Just look around you. Observe the people around you. What are they doing? Gossips, bad-mouthing, backstabbing.. You name it. All the sort of shits they're willing to do to make themselves look good & noble. And guess what? They are your friends, too. These infidels.. They deserve no better treatment than being torched & burned alive. Even Hell is too good for them.

Many times I find myself stumbling over the same situation over & over again; is he/she worth forgiving? Will he/she repeat his/her mistakes again? Well then, I just got my perfect solid answer lately. Forgiveness shouldn't be given more than once. Why? Let me explain.

Think. In a situation where you've just got backstabbed by a friend, what would you do? Maybe you'll confront this friend. Or maybe you might do the same back to him/her. But let's say you made the smarter decision & you chose to confront him/her, which indirectly portrayed the fact that you knew about him/her backstabbing you. What would this person do? Seek for forgiveness? Maybe. And let's say he's forgiven. Let's say you really don't wanna lose this friend of yours. How can you possibly tell that he/she won't do it again?

At this point, it all comes down to your trust. How much do you trust him/her in the first place to forgive him? And if you do trust this person a lot, then what would you do when he did it again? Do you still forgive him? I saw myself forgiving someone twice, but then this person wanted to prove me wrong. Twice, my friend, is more than enough to erase all my hopes & trust on you. You've been a good friend, but that's as far and as much as you can go and as you are. I'm truly disappointed.

I've learned this lesson the hard way. It also somehow affected the way I appreciate my friends. Some friends are worth being treated better than others, some are not. You managed to camouflage yourself within the people I trust. And this is the end of it. You know what they say about backstabbers like this; they put on a front that appears accommodating, loyal, and yes, even sacrificial. Then, without warning, they raise their knife, and by the time you see the glint of the blade, it's almost always too late. It is a little too late. Too late for you to repent. And because there is a larger awareness that transcends time and space, an awareness is available after death.

Be careful. Re-evaluate the points that you are looking for in a friend, and sort them out. Keep what you need, get rid of those you don't. It is difficult, but it can be done. In all likelihood, backstabbers are quite pleasant and supportive on the surface. But that's a mask. Remember, that friendship is not capable of ending, for if it ends it is only because it never existed.

And oh, of course. Never ever try to become a hypocrite by attacking other people personally if you wish to protect yourself. It's a waste of time, and you're dragging yourself down to their filthy level.

And I thought I could trust you.

Pathetic.

Elbow - Grounds For Divorce.

-MX-

Always

Currently trying to save as much as I can, & to be honest I've not been withdrawing any cash for a month plus or so. Why? Simple. To save for a cheapo 2nd hand car when I'm back in Malaysia for holidays.

I can't remember the last time I brought a bottle of water to class from home. I don't even do that in secondary school. Well, maybe I did... In Secondary 1 or 2? Saving & squeezing every single last рубль that I can find in my wallet & my room to last me till the end of next month. It's hard, I know, but I have to suffer. So.. Yeah. A hard practice for a shopaholic like me. Bought a 500 руб shirt from Zara 3 weeks ago, regretted it ever since. Why? I love that shirt very much, but if I were to save that 500 руб I could've used it to pay for 1 week worth of groceries.

Hang on in there, MX... Just a month plus more..

Bon Jovi - Always.

-MX-

I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

Right now.. At this very moment.. I wish you're by my side..


Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing.

-MX-

Maestro

I've never once failed tearing whenever I watch Ip Man. Call me a strong Chinese, but the storyline really managed to touch my heart deep down under, a place where no other movies or stories could possibly reach. It must have been the umpteenth time that I watched the first Ip Man, but it never fails to amuse me & give me the same sense of pride, amour-propre. The dignity, the gratification of being a Chinese.

Looking forward to watch Ip Man 2, most probably when I return to Malaysia for summer holidays. I hope it packs the same kind of punch & awe as it's prequel. Definitely a movie that should not be missed by my fellow Chinese friends.

Kenji Kawai - Maestro.

-MX-

一路向北

Here's the video.. A promise that I made to myself & my car.. It's not that well made, but still..

If you think you'll be wasting 12 minutes 33 seconds of your life watching this, then don't watch it..

But if you feel my pain & share my sadness, then go on.. I promise it will not be disappointing..



Happy Birthday..

All that's left of you.. Memories..

Yeah, I know.. I've featured this song over & over again on my blog.. But it just can't seem to die off.. 2669's signature song, I guess..

Jay Chou - 一路向北 ( Yi Lu Xiang Bei ).

-MX-

P.S.- Correction to Kelvin Chan's number plate, WKF 5017. Sorry for the mistake, took me 5 hours to make this video & I was sleepy at the end of it. Peace.

Ride

Alrite, some real-time updates from me. Some very very sad stories, real de-motivators.

But one of the biggest factor of my emo-ness, sadness & disappointment & the only one I wanna emphasize on right now (unfortunately), is... Well..

Whatever that's left of WRG 2669 remains history & memories. Yes, thats right. I've lost my beloved Myvi. No, it didn't end up in an accident. It's just...sold. My parents sold it. I'm utterly devastated by the news delivered by my mom, and I still am. Memories remains memories, that car have strived on with me through much joy & pain, happiness & sadness, saved my life not once, not twice, but many many times. The near-death experience at Karak highway. The accident at Pekeliling. Another accident I've escaped, together with my car, unharmed & unscratched on MRR2. The escape from being robbed by Mat Rempits.

All the emo moments spent with my car.. Hmm.

This post is dedicated to my beloved WRG 2669. All that I can save from my car is a Rockford Fosgate woofer & an Adam's amplifier, and they shall remain with me no matter what car I will be driving in the future, as a homage to my first car.


It's been days since I last had a proper meal or sleep. Seriously, it affected me that badly. It's 4 more days to the car's 2nd birthday.. 4 days.. People that were with me throughout the 2 years of me owning the car knows how much I love it.. I've lost an encouraging factor of my life, I've lost my mean of transportation, I've lost the only one that I can depend on when all else fails, when all else disappoints me..
When I'm at the emo-est state, it was the car that accompanied me through the nights of KL roads.. My pride, my soul, my life..

Many of my friends said that I'm too exaggerating at expressing my loss.. I don't blame them, cos they view cars as only a way of getting around.. Heck, many of them don't even maintain their cars themselves.. I've been spending so much time with my car till I've formed an emotional bond with it, till I can feel every pulse of the car's life, forecasting every single problem it had.. Sigh..

...I.. I'm sorry for letting you get through your birthday alone.. Probably with someone else, a new owner perhaps.. I hope that he/she will take good care of you..


In memory of MX's WRG 2669, 29/4/2008 - 22/4/2010.

I'll make a video/photo montage to honour & as a remembrance to my beloved car.. Check back on his birthday, if you guys would..

Cary Brothers - Ride.

-MX-

Let Go

I'm not sure what I'm doing. Sure, we all have our own problems once in a while, & I'm not exempted from this. Yeah, some matters going on. Some.. things.

It actually bothers me so much till I can't actually sit down & start studying for Chemistry. And I wonder why do they introduce Chemistry in M.D.? It doesn't make any sense to me at all.. Well perhaps it does, but I just can't see the point of it.


Alrite, alrite.. Here's a confession. I... I never really liked Chemistry. No. I just can't find my interest in it. Some things happened in the past, & my Chemistry teacher was really harsh with me. So.. Yeah, I don't wanna talk about it.

And all these distractions right now doesn't help in any way to stimulate my already resisting brain into studying Chemistry. The on-going problems that I'm having, my sudden crave for CSI N.Y., & the whole holiday thing.. Can anyone please put me back on track & at least allow me to complete my Chemistry examinations first?

I don't know what to do.. Tried forcing myself to study, but it just wont work.

Frustrated.

Paul Van Dyk feat. Rea Garvey - Let Go.

-MX-

Lullaby

I don't know if the recent Moscow Metro bombing changed the way I think, but...

I miss home. I miss Malaysia. I miss driving around with no particular directions. I miss going to the pasar malam every Thursday at Sri Rampai. Most importantly, I miss the peace & care-free life that I once had. I was able to do anything I like, anytime I want back at home. Hmm...

There is a distinctive smell, Malaysian smell, I presume.. Missed that too. Sigh..

I'm homesick..

One Republic - Lullaby.

-MX-

Get Lifted

7:56 A.M. - Lubyanka Metro station was bombed.

8.37 A.M. - Park Kultury station was bombed.

Both, in a single day. Yes, this morning. I couldn't imagine what would life be like for me. They said that attacks on the minorities & foreigners may start soon.

The Moscow Metro system is undoubtedly the most popular & frequently used form of public transportation in Moscow due to it's accessibility and low cost. The bombings were carried out during rush hour. Both bombs were detonated as the train arrived & the doors were opening.

At least my sense of safety & security did not failed me & proved itself right. I'm not being paranoid, I'm just extra careful. Every single time I board a Metro, I'd take the hassle to walk to the very end to board the last car of the train, for safety reasons. Bombings often happen in the middle or front of the train, but never the back as it would be pointless. True enough, both the bombing incidents today took place in the second cars on both occasion.

Tuesday, 30 March 2010 is declared as the Day of Mourning for the victims of the bombings.

May peace be with those who didn't made it.

Kamui - Get Lifted.

-MX-

Autumn

I've not checked my own blog close to a month, & I was in for a little surprise. 200 thousand views?I'm not sure what made it skyrocket that way.

Having my emo moment right now.

Paul Van Dyk - Autumn (Radio Edit).

-MX-

Tik Tok

Okay, so I have 3 days of holidays (Saturday, Sunday & Monday), with Monday being The International Women's Day. Whatever. I've got exams coming up, with anatomy being the most stressful & depressing.

Parts of skull to read & memorize:

Os frontale
Tuber frontale
Sutura internasalis
Margo orbitalis
Sutura coronalis

Os parietale

Facies orbitalis ossis frontalis
Sutura sphenozygomatica

Sutura frontozygomatica

Facies orbitalis alae major ossis sphenoidalis
Sutura sphenofrontalis
Apertura piriformis

Os zygomaticum

Sutua zygomaticomaxillaris

Concha nasalis inferior

Spina nasalis anterior

Protuberantia mentalis

Sutura intermaxillaris

Lamina perpendicularis ossis ethmoidalis

Vomer

Facies orbitalis maxillae

Fissura orbitalis inferior

Fissura orbitalis superior

Processus zygomaticus ossis frontalis

Palatum osseum

Foramen incisivum

Sutura palatina mediana (Sutura interpalatina)
Processus palatinus

Lamina horizontalis ossis palatini

Lamina medialis processus pterygoidei
Lamina lateralis processus pterygoidei

Fossa infratemporalis

Foramen ovale

Foramen lacerum

Foramen spinosum

Foramen rotundum

Synchrondosis sphenooccipitalis

Tuberculum pharyngeum

Processus mastoideus

Fissura petrooccipitalis

Crista occipitalis externa

Crista occipitalis interna

Linea nuchalis inferior

Linea nuchalis superior

Incisura mastoidea

Processus styloideus

Canalis caroticus

Arcus zygomaticus

Foramen stylomastoideum

I'm not done yet, and the list goes on.. There are probably more than a hundred names that are NOT in the list..

And the clock ticks...

Tik Tok (Instrumental) - Ke$ha.

-MXV-

Heads Will Roll

Kentucky Fried Cheryl.

OK, done.

Now, tell me how stupid is the education system here in Russia, or at least in my university. For those who thought Malaysian education system sucks, think again. This is a real story, real experience by myself.

Went to the dekanat today, or Dean's office, to get permission to sit for some papers that I missed when I went back to Malaysia last month. Sounds OK to you guys? Let me tell you all exactly what happened, & the stupidity of the system here.

1. In order for sit for missed papers from last semester, I will need the Dean's approval. Sounds fair. But wait, there's more..

2. The Dean's office is open only on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays, from 3 PM to 5 PM.

3. Waited in line for 2 hours for the Dean to settle 5 students with the same issue before it's my turn.

4. OK, so I've gotten the permission to sit for 5 papers. After I've passed these papers, I will have to return to the Dean's office (which indirectly means the repetition of No. 2 & 3) to receive a signature from him, certifying that I've passed all 5 papers just so that I can sit for the 6th and final paper, which is a ridiculous paper of 5 multiple choice questions. The questions are absurd. Seriously.

5. After I've passed the 6th paper, I will need to return to the Dean's office, AGAIN, to receive a signature & stamp from the Dean as a verification that I've completed my papers.

Crappy, isn't it? A friend that had a pending paper went to the dekanat with me today & queued for two hours just to be told to come back on Friday. Not to mention too, that the Vice Dean's attitude is crappy & sarcastic as hell, & that he's always late to the office. And oh, they have this 'Russians first' practice too. It doesn't matter if the line is 2 miles long; as long as you're Russian, you don't have to queue.

Heads Will Roll - Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

-MX-

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

Stereotype. What else can I possibly blog about on this one? I've blogged about it before, & I'm here again to express my dissatisfaction about stereotypical thoughts.

It has gotta start from where I'm living now. I'm so distraught by the fact that whenever people think of Russians, images of mafias & crimes are perpetuated & projected directly into their heads. Come on. Russia is not that bad, although I do admit that crime rates are sky high and they aren't exactly that friendly. But hey, that doesn't mean that they're all born with evil intentions.

And if you would just pay a little bit of attention into the media, you'll realise what's going on. Films, especially. I've noticed this for quite some time. For countless number of times I've set foot into the cinema, expecting great action films. And guess what? Hey, the bad guy is Russian again. Casino Royale? Le Chiffre, treasurer of a Soviet-backed trade union. Quantum of Solace? Yusef Kabira, Kazan, Russia. Universal Soldier? General Boris, Russian. The Spy Next Door? Poldark, Russian. Even the latest, most anticipated sequel to Iron Man, the Iron Man 2; Whiplash is a Russian.

I did not went back to Malaysia just to catch myself sitting in a cinema with the antagonist speaking Russian. Sigh.

Yet another ranting post of mine. Sorry if I've offended anyone with what I've said here, but sometimes things are not what you think they are. Do absolutely not believe in any rumours that people are spreading, not until you get the first hand information yourself, not until you've experienced what it's really like. Or perhaps, I should say that I'm starting to blend in & get used to the life of an inostranets (иностранец) / (foreigner). Gotta learn how to live life the Moscovites' way.

Hahah, just for laugh gags. Someone commented on a torrent page, and a fellow user responded in a rather funny way. Hope this makes your day..

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Gregorian.

-MX-

Jump

It's Russia's Men's Day today. Well.. I'm not exactly the type that cares whenever this kind of shit goes on. No, not at all. Men's Day? Let it be. I'm only setting my eyes on the two sumptuous days of holidays. Monday & Tuesday, two of the busiest days in my timetable. And I'm off the hook for this week.

Men's Day? More like Testosterone Day or Gay Day, I presume? I don't care. It's a holiday. And holidays are meant to be enjoyed. Or so I thought. I've been missing out a lot in my studies, it's time to catch up & I've got tons & tons of studying to do. Which means... My holidays = GONE!!!

Go fuck yourself. Go drink all you want & smoke your fermented shit. Stop the fucking bother me. You know who you are. I don't need you here spoiling my life. I've had enough. I'm tired enough with every single shit that's going on around me, and I don't need you to make it worse for me.

Jump - Flo Rida feat. Nelly Furtado.

-MX-

Get Shaky

An all-white Chinese New Year. Hmm.


Complexity & depression invades my mind now. I wonder why. Something bothers me, but I don't know what exactly it is. It's complicated. I feel emotionally pulverized. The feeling of un-belonging.

Every single time I board a Moscow Metro train now, I feel it. It's a form of excitement that gets me nowhere. Ah, finally. A proper elaboration of my feelings. Yes, it's the very same excitement that I get when I was on my way back to Malaysia about a month ago.

Whenever I flip open my wallet, I see those U.S. Dollars & Euros neatly arranged next to the local currency here, I get that stinging sensation on my heart. I see home. I see my family, my friends, my lover. How is that possible?


Am I homesick?

Get Shaky - The Ian Carey Project.

-MX-

I Remember

I was back in Malaysia for about 3 weeks. Yeah. For those who I didn't manage to contact or meet up with while I was back, I'm sorry. I couldn't blog to announce my return as I couldn't go online. Life pretty much sucked when there's no Internet, but the food & company of friends back there... That pretty much sums up everything. Heh..

Flew with Etihad Airways this time back to Malaysia. The seat configurations were much better than Emirates', & the take offs & landings were silky smooth. One of the best airlines I've took, definitely. It felt good to be home. Home sweet home. Friends everywhere.. Hmm.

Chinese New Year is around the corner. But this year it's simply different; something new for me. Chinese New Year without family members.. And Chinese New Year celebrated at -10'C.. Usually it's somewhere hot for me, but this year it's just cold.. Pure cold.. Not to mention that the Chinese New Year this year fell on the same day as Valentine's.. Oh, my Valentine.. Chinese New Year & Valentine's spent alone in a cold, far away land? That sucks badly.

I'm skipping topics here, feeling completely random. Learned a new Russian proverb from my Chemistry lecturer, which sounded quite true to me.. Чем меньше знаешь, лучше спишь, or translated as 'the less you know, the better you sleep'. Sometimes there are some things that we shouldn't even find out in the first place. These could be agonizing facts, unfair truths, evil plans... They could be anything. From a heart-breaking fact to spoiling a carefully planned surprise, finding out the truth could really bring one all sorts of miseries. And sometimes, it's not worth looking back & wondering why some things are the way they are now... Finding out only amplifies the pain, & by doing so we're being our own silent assassins..

Anyway... Happy Chinese New Year, again.. May ya'll have a prosperous new tiger year.. For those expecting a child anytime this year, wish you have a healthy baby. For those who are having exams, wish you luck in passing with flying colours. For those in a relationship, wish you happiness with the one you love. For those who are striving hard at everything else, I wish you all the best in everything you do. Happy Valentine's Day, to my beloved...

I Remember - deadmau5 feat. Kaskade

-MX-