I Don't Wanna Stop

The farewell party went pretty well last week, although some of my friends disappointed me badly when they stood me up & broke their promises to attend our last gathering before I leave to Moscow. You know who you are. I'm still pretty much shocked when I see the number of friends that attended; 30 of us in a VIP room in California Pizza Kitchen. That's the biggest gathering that I've organized in these 2 decades of my life.

Anyway, the actual & official departure date has been released; I'll be leaving on the 21st of September, 2 A.M.. Kinda abrupt, eh? 5 more days.. 5 more days & I'll be leaving the country for about 6 years.. Well, of course I'll be back here in KL every once a year or so, but..

The feeling, it's just different. To be away from my family, to be away from my country & friends.. To be away from my lover, especially.. Yes, I have a lover. I admitted that to my mom last night. What I was fore-telling about the consequences of telling her was lashes, espresso-style awakening shots of anger & scoldings. I did not at all expected that she'll be so calm & cool about it, asking me all sorts of questions about her. That's something new, knowing my mom's temper, attitude, mentality & personality, this is the first time she actually reacted that way. Good or bad? I don't know..

I'm already missing her right now. What should I do during the entire 6 years of my course over there? Life will definitely be boring & lonely for me, no doubt.. But what I'm hoping & wishing now is to have her love, our love, to fire & fuel me through this long ordeal. I'll work hard so that I'll be able to provide her a better future.

Or can I?

There're not many people who actually know about the story of my love-life. This relationship had been going on for many, many months, very secretively.. A few who know are close friends of mine, and of course, I will never ever reveal their names. But seriously, this whole thing went on for too long, too much unnecessary time spent on dragging & delaying it. I shall confess & admit everything very soon. Love, is simply too complicated. Perhaps after revealing my story, I'll be portrayed as an antagonist in everyone's mind. But I don't care. I know I have to take the risk. I don't wanna stop right here.

So if there are any mistakes that I've said or done, please forgive me, for I'm not perfect. Friends & family members, they last as long as i appreciate them. Forgive me for all that I've done. I seek forgiveness from my parents, relatives, friends, teachers & lecturers, & anyone that I've offended or treated harshly in the past. I'm sorry.

I'm feeling numb. I feel lost. What should I do? 5 more days.. Many things will definitely happen in these 5 days.. Important things.. Memorable things..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey there I hope everything's all right
I forgot to call you in the wintertime
Like the wave crash coming back
I've got feelings pouring down against this healing
While you try to trace which side I'm on

When the wind blows between us
High above this empty feeling
I don't wanna stop
I don't wanna stop
When the waves crash beneath us
Down below this empty feeling
I don't wanna stop
I don't wanna stop

Can we dance like everything's all right
Can we trade the day in for the night
Like a homesick tournament
I'm not breathing till I leave with you believing
I don't want to trace another song

When the wind blows between us
High above this empty feeling
I don't wanna stop
I don't wanna stop
When the waves crash beneath us
Down below this empty feeling
I don't wanna stop
I don't wanna stop

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Don't Wanna Stop - ATB.

-MXV-

Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence - F.Y.I.

The festive season is here. And of course, Hari Raya Aidilfitri is just a mere week plus away. So.. As Malaysians, we would of course join the fun & make the whole celebration better for everyone. I'm sure you'd agree with me on this statement; ' What is the festive season in Malaysia without the fireworks? '. As illegal as it is to purchase, possess, or set fireworks here in Malaysia, we found our way & bought some loud bangers, just to rock the neighbourhood.

Just some innocent way to have fun by me & my fellow friends. Enjoy the videos below.

First shot:

Second shot:

Third shot:

Multiple shot:

Multiple shot II:

Beautiful, aren't they?

Oh, right. I almost forgot. The venue for the farewell party this Saturday has been changed to California Pizza Kitchen, 2 floors below Chili's.

Merry Christmas MR. Lawrence - F.Y.I. - Utada Hikaru.

This is, by far, the only English song by Utada that I really enjoyed.

-MXV-

For An Angel

So.. Many of you must've heard about the latest, grandest news about me, leaving to Moscow, Russia very, very soon. Actual date not known yet, but it was earlier speculated to be either 14th, 16th or 18th. Now, the new dates has been released; it'll be either on the 21st, 23rd, or 25th. More news coming up on my date of departure will be updated here, so check back soon if you really wanna know the date & time of my flight.

Oh, I've not revealed anything about the purpose of me going there, right? Well.. This letter will explain everything..

Offer letter from RSMU (Russian State Medical University).

Yes, I'll be there to further my studies, picking up medical degree.

You see, as a student that is able to continue studying overseas, I should be happy, grateful & excited about it. But me? Not at all. There are some issues that are holding me back here, my emotions, my mentality. My feelings. My love. My family. My friends. My country. Home.

Everything will be explained & further described & evaluated in a special post, coming up very soon. First things first.

A farewell gathering is currently being organized, with a date fixed by fellow friends; they want it to be on the 12th of September, 2009 as it's a Saturday. They've already fixed the date, I'll now be fixing the place. 8 PM at Chillies' Grill & Bar, KLCC. Yes, it's a bit pricey. But hey, once in a blue moon. Give me a call or a SMS if you're coming, everyone is invited.

Updates on my car. A video will show them all. Last video of my moments, enjoying & spending quality time in my car with my state-of-art Hi-Def sound system.

I swear I cried when I was recording that video. It wasn't a well-recorded video, but it did, it filled me up with a bucket of tears & supplied me with enough water to sob the whole night. All the effort, time & care spent on the car.. The memories of my first car.. The fate of WRG 2669 is still currently unknown; it might be sold, or my parents might keep it as their second car.

For An Angel 2009 PVD Remix - Paul Van Dyk.

-MXV-