Goodbye My Lover

Last post for this blog, I hope not. We'll see if there is a day where I'll be back to update & keep my readers entertained with my daily life, jokes, emo-ness and videos, but that most likely will only happen if I really have the will to come back to this blog. Cut it short & simple; I've failed in my love life again. I guess I had enough retrospection, I'm starting to hate myself. I'm hating the fact that I walked into the same trap again & again. I'm hurt over & over again. I'm at the lowest point of my life now, and nothing said & done could change it. I feel like a piece of paper crumpled & thrown around in a class full of students. Whenever I think of it, my heart aches, comparable to a thousand needles poking through it like a pinbag.

Here's the poem I've promised her, all written by myself.

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You stepped into my life,
You clarified & rectified it again,
Full of hope after five,
Flooded my heart with agonizing pain.

You took my hand & held it tight,
I reached your heart & thought it's right.
Your kiss felt like a dart,
Except that it missed the chart.

Gone are the days of friendship,
With the bloom of love,
Maybe we're in the same ship,
Or maybe I'm just a glove.

It's a taboo for us,
Or a boo from friends.
It's the both of you or the both of us,
Or another day full with regrets.

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Not a good one, I know. What do you expect from a 2-minute scribble? But it does explain how I feel.

I'm apologizing to everybody I know, especially friends & family members. I might be rude & harsh at times, I might have followed my mood without concerning the feelings of others. Please do not contact me anymore, I wish to have some peace of mind. I will not answer calls or reply anymore SMSes, my PC will be shut down for as long as it take for me to regain my sanity.

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Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

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All the tear-shedding shall end soon. Good luck to all, see ya'll when I'm back. Sorry Nicholas, a little too late for you to ask me to link you now. I'll be gone, but I'll definitely be back. Till then, I'll live in self-exile, without contacts with the outside world.

Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt.

-MXV-